We've had plenty of good jokes on here but whats the worst you've heard...

Here's one from off the top of my head...

Two parrots sat on a perch, one says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"

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quote:

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Originally posted by bearing
We've had plenty of good jokes on here but whats the worst you've heard...

Here's one from off the top of my head...

Two parrots sat on a perch, one says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"

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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man finally got up and said, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman said, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

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A toothless termite walks into a pub and says, "Is the bartender here?"

Two cannibals eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny?"

A man goes into the Doctors with a strawberry growing out of his head. The Doctor says, "I'll give you some cream for that."

A man goes to the Doctor's with a steering wheel coming out of his trousers. "Doctor, this thing is driving me nuts."

A man visits the Doctor wearing nothing but cling film. The Doctor says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

A man goes to the Doctors and complains that he can't stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home. The Doctor ponders and says, "You've got Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" replies the man, to which the Doctor says, "It's not unusual."

What do you call a raver in a filing cabinet? Sorted

A Jewish woman's husband dies. She phones up the local paper to put in the message "Husband died". The receptionist informs her that for the same price, she can have five words, so she changes it to say, "Husband died. Volvo for sale."

Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

A man goes to the Doctors complaining that he can't pronounce any word beginning with F, or T. The Doctor says, "Well, you can't say fairer than that then."

Two nuns sat on a bench. A man in a long coat walks past, and flashes them. One had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.

Two nuns in a bath. "Wears the soap?" asks one. "It does, doesn't it", replies the other.

Two nuns walking through a graveyard. Dracula jumps out from behind a gravestone and demands blood. "Quick, show him your cross", yells one nun. "PISS OFF!", shouts the other.

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

What's white and floats in the sky? The coming of the Lord

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no knackers? Still no XXXXing idea

What do you call a man in the sea with no arms and legs? Bob

What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lilly

What do you call a girl with a tile on her head? Ruth

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug

What do you call a man with no spade in his head? Douglas

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his arse? Warren

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff

What do you call a man with a seagull and a car on his head? Clifford

What do you call a man under ground? Pete

What do you call a man with a paper bag over his head? Russell

Knock Knock….who's there? Biggish……sorry mate, no spare change (English gag)

Knock Knock…who's there? Whurlitzer….whurlitzer who? (in the style of the King) Wurlitzer one of the money, two for the show…..

Who invented fire? Some bright spark.

Who invented the sewing machine? Some clever old so and so.

Did you hear about the Irish papershop? It blew away.

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quote:

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Originally posted by gr33nd4yg1rl
yeah, man that's the worst.
i don't get it

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Perch=A kind of fish. Duh!

Last edited by Slinky on 11-19-02 at 04:06 PM

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is both the same.

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quote:

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Originally posted by gr33nd4yg1rl
yeah, man that's the worst.
i don't get it

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Perch(Perca Fluviatilis)

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Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't. You get down off a duck.

Q: How do you get out of an elephant?
A: You just run around and around until you get pooped out.

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Rob
Integra Software

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quote:

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Originally posted by Slinky
Perch=A kind of fish. Duh!

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ohhh ok, duh! thanx. i get it now
oh and thanx for the visual, bearing

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, it won't come to you, anyway.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink.
THe bartender says, do you want to pay cash or run a tab.
The duck says"just put it on my bill?"

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