Not so long ago...

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account

And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy you hoped nobody found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage not something you did to a file.

And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut - you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider's home

And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when it happens they wish they were dead!

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LOL

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.

If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?

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Windows - You Washed
UNIX (Eunuchs) - Guarded the Harem.

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here's another one
Making Money for the Church

Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish and asked for suggestions as to how he could raise money for the church. He was told that the horse owner always had money, so he went to the horse auction, but made a very poor buy, as the horse turned out to be a donkey.

However, he thought he might as well enter the donkey in a race. The donkey came in third, and the next morning, the headlines in the paper read:

FATHER MURPHY'S XXX SHOWS

The Archbishop saw the paper and was greatly displeased. The next day, the donkey came in first and the headlines read:

FATHER MURPHY'S XXX OUT IN FRONT

The Archbishop was up in arms. Something had to be done. Father Murphy had entered the donkey again and it had come in second. The headlines read.

FATHER MURPHY'S XXX BACK IN PLACE

This was too much for the Archbishop, so he forbade the priest to enter the donkey in any more races. The headlines then read:

ARCHBISHOP SCRATCHES FATHER MURPHY'S XXX

Finally, the Archbishop ordered Father Murphy to get rid of the donkey. He was unable to sell it, so he gave it to Sister Agatha for a pet. The Archbishop ordered her to dispose of the animal at once. She sold it for ten dollars. Next day, the headlines read:

SISTER AGATHA PEDDLES XXX FOR TEN DOLLARS

They buried the Archbishop three days later

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LMAO

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quote:

---

Originally posted by jombeewoof
I had a friend once, he took some acid.
now he thinks he's a fire engine

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Huh?!!

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it's ok until he pisses on your lighter
kinda smells kinda cool kinda funny anyway

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I almost choked when I read that!!!!
LMFAO

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