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General discussions > General Discussion > American Twins

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Author American Twins
shehzada4
Senior Member




Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Country: Pakistan
State:
Certifications: CCNA,CCNP
Working on: CCIE

Total Posts: 127
Wink American Twins

Question : What frustrates the American
when his wife delivers twins???

Answer : He wonders who is the father of the second child.

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Old Post 03-26-03 06:28 PM
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mindmesh
Spit Fire
M




Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Country: United States
State:
Certifications: A+, MCP, MCSA +S, MCSE
Working on: CCNA, LPI, RHCE

Total Posts: 1623
Re: American Twins

quote:
Originally posted by shehzada4
Question : What frustrates the American
when his wife delivers twins???

Answer : He wonders who is the father of the second child.




Uhhh...OK?????

I'm imagining that supposed to be funny, but actually it was kind of corny.. Now I like a joke as much as the next guy but You need to show some imagination.. Sounds like you slapped that together with out much thought.

What an intellectual...

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Old Post 03-26-03 06:35 PM
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mindmesh
Spit Fire
M




Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Country: United States
State:
Certifications: A+, MCP, MCSA +S, MCSE
Working on: CCNA, LPI, RHCE

Total Posts: 1623

These are MUCH better:

1. How do you stop a Pakistani Tank

Shoot the men who are pushing it.

2. How do you disable a Pakistani Tank?

Hide the wind-up key.

3. How do you disable Paki missiles?

Cut the rubber band.

4. Pakistani military researches have recently ordered for enlargement
of the hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles.

This is so they can be more easily abandoned in the enemy territory.

5. Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes?

Neither has Pakistan.

6. Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention?

Its a solar powered flashlight.

7. Did you hear about the other Pakistani invention?

The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.

8. How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?

Put it in water.

9. Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi.

The Pakistan officials have recovered 3000 bodies so far.

10. Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried
at Sea?

Five Pakistani soldiers died digging his grave.

11. Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash?

The pilot felt cold, so turned off the fan.

12. Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses?

They get it from chasing parked cars.

13. Did you hear about a Pakistani who studied diligently for five days?

He was scheduled to take a urine test.

14. Did you hear about the shut down of the Karachi National Library?

Somebody stole the only book.

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Old Post 03-26-03 06:47 PM
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shehzada4
Senior Member




Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Country: Pakistan
State:
Certifications: CCNA,CCNP
Working on: CCIE

Total Posts: 127

Ohh..and i thought these jokes were about French ? ...Americans can joke about other Nationalities..but when someone makes fun of them..there they come flaming...LOL

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Old Post 03-26-03 06:52 PM
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mindmesh
Spit Fire
M




Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Country: United States
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Certifications: A+, MCP, MCSA +S, MCSE
Working on: CCNA, LPI, RHCE

Total Posts: 1623

quote:
Originally posted by shehzada4
Ohh..and i thought these jokes were about French ? ...Americans can joke about other Nationalities..but when someone makes fun of them..there they come flaming...LOL


They may have been. I actually heard some of them about the Polish..

I'm not flaming anyone, I just think if you're going to post a joke it should atleast appear to have a hint of humor.

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Old Post 03-26-03 06:58 PM
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shehzada4
Senior Member




Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Country: Pakistan
State:
Certifications: CCNA,CCNP
Working on: CCIE

Total Posts: 127

Did i mention anywhere in my post that it is a joke ?...Read it twice then you will know what i mean..heh

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Old Post 03-26-03 07:02 PM
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mindmesh
Spit Fire
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Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Country: United States
State:
Certifications: A+, MCP, MCSA +S, MCSE
Working on: CCNA, LPI, RHCE

Total Posts: 1623

Hehe I hope this stuff doesn't pass as humor in your country. Here if you want some Anti-American Jokes for you and friends.. here are couple..


What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
"Multilingual".

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
"Bilingual".

What do you call someone who speaks one language?
"An American".

Only in America:
(Begun as a fictional list, but the real "Only in Americas" are funnier, or at least stranger)

Drive-through banks, pharmacies, and liquor stores.

Parking lots (car parks) larger than the buildings they serve.

Sugar-frosted honey-coated deep-fat-fried cheese sticks - and a Diet Coke.

Bumper stickers that say "Honk if you hate noise pollution".

Creationists who insist that the pharmaceutical drugs they use first be tested on monkeys and chimps.

Football in which the ball is carried or propelled much more by hand than by foot.

People who argue that human life is so sacred that abortion justifies capital punishment.

A country where the "Lower Forty-eight" states are north of Hawaii, and where the "Continental U.S" doesn't include Alaska, which is clearly on the same continent.

A country where everyone has time to mow their three-acre lawn each week, but no one has time to cook their own food.

People who value equality so much that they think discrimination should be used to create it.

Academic institutions known more for their athletes than their scholars.

A country where the Big Ten has eleven schools, and a fifth is four fifths of a quart.

A country where "evil-doer" and "do-gooder" are both negative characterizations.

A country that claims to hate lawyers, and that elects only lawyers to public office.

Prices of gasoline (petrol) prices that are a fraction of the price of drinking water - and people complaining about the price of gasoline.

A State Department that has nothing to do with the states.

"In God We Trust" written on every piece of money of a nation that alleges to separate church and state.

A country where only the well-to-do ride bicycles.

One of the world's most technologically advanced countries, with the most antiquated system of weights and measures.

"The Land of the Free" with the world's second highest incarceration rate. Explanation

A principled refusal to ratify the 1989 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. (Somalia is the only other nation with the same principles.)

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Old Post 03-26-03 07:08 PM
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HOOLIGAN
Vindaloo
M




Registered: Dec 2000
Location: \
Country: Antarctica
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Certifications: A+ CCNA
Working on: BSc , CCNP

Total Posts: 2349

quote:
Question : What frustrates the American
when his wife delivers twins???

Answer : He wonders who is the father of the second child.




I guess it loses something in the translation, probably rhymes or something.

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Old Post 03-26-03 08:03 PM
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mindmesh
Spit Fire
M




Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Country: United States
State:
Certifications: A+, MCP, MCSA +S, MCSE
Working on: CCNA, LPI, RHCE

Total Posts: 1623

quote:
Originally posted by HOOLIGAN
I guess it loses something in the translation, probably rhymes or something.


LOL.. It must...

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Old Post 03-26-03 08:07 PM
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cruss575
Senior Member




Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Triangle, VA, US
Country: United States
State:
Certifications: A bunch
Working on:

Total Posts: 207

Perhaps instead of just pointing out non-funny jokes made by our hapless humor-impaired friend from Pakistan, we should help provide an alternate ending for his joke to help him in his American humor studies!

I propose we come up with some alternative endings for his joke and we can donate the best one to Pakistan's humor relief fund!

Here are my three admittedly not-very-funny-but-better-than-the-original
contributions!

Q. What frustrates the American
when his wife delivers twins???

A. Someone else already took the idea of naming all their kids George.

Q. What frustrates the American
when his wife delivers twins???

A. Neither of them look anything like Danny or Arnold.

Q. What frustrates the American
when his wife delivers twins???

His wife doesn't have a third tit like the woman in total recall.

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Old Post 03-26-03 11:13 PM
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