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17 Loser Posts by the mcngp bacterium !!
>-----Original Message-----
><wholepileofuselescrapsnipped>
>
>made me think of "it" when I read these:
>
>ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you
>could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
asked for a half
>dozen nuggets. "We don't have a half dozen nuggets,"
said the teenager at
>the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,
nine, or
>twelve," was the reply. "So can't order a half dozen
nuggets, but I can
>order six?" "That's right." So
>I shook my head and ordered six Mc Nuggets.
>
>TWO: The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of
what happened a
>couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local
Wal-Mart with just
>a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to
>mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep
by the cash
>register and placed it between our things so they
wouldn't get mixed.
>After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked
up the "Divider"
>looking it all over for the barcode so she could scan
it. Not finding
>the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
is?" I said to
>her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
today." She said
>"OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no
clue as to what
>had just happened.
>
>THREE: A lady at work was seen putting a credit card
into her floppy
>drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired
as to what she was
>doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for
>a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
>
>FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do
>you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced
>the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car. Do
>you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a
>battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm too?" I asked.
>"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it
and the car keys
>to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door,
I replied, "Why
>don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long
>walk."
>
>FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none
too swift. One
>day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said, "I'm almost out of
>typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
paper," the
>secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last
remaining blank
>piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded
to make five
>"blank" copies.
>
>SIX: I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a
large motor home was
>towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in
dire need of
>repair and the whole thing generally looked like an
extra in Twister. I
>asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the
driver had set
>the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a
sandwich.
>
>SEVEN: My neighbor works in the operations department
in the central
>office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him
when they have
>problems with their computers. One night he got a call
from a woman in
>one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've
got smoke coming
>from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
>
>EIGHT: Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
suspect by placing
>a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
wires to a photocopy
>machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police
>pressed the copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't telling
>the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect
>confessed.
>
>
>
>
>--
>Neil MCNGP #30
>"you'd do what, to who, for how many biscuits?"
>.
>
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