| Author |
Once upon a time there.
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| ace123 2002-09-06, 7:00 am |
| I saw this in another forum a while back. And I thought it would be fun to try it here.
We will write are own story with each member adding the next line to the story. And to keep it sort of on topic try and keep it computer related 
Once upon a time there. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 7:14 am |
| was a lovely lady | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-06, 7:52 am |
| who only had one problem. | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 8:03 am |
| She had to get the network back up with in an hour | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 8:09 am |
| but she also had to do her make-up | |
| Teck Shark 2002-09-06, 8:37 am |
| and so she realized she had 2 problems... | |
|
|
| ace123 2002-09-06, 8:38 am |
| Standing in front of her 5 servers all of them lock up she wonders were to begin and where are the backup tapes if she needs them. | |
|
| My, they must be right by the blush and the mascara... oh, no! Somone replaced the DLT tapes with some French Toasts! Who could be so cruel??? | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 8:45 am |
| In walks her seedy looking boss, balding with a goatee and coca cola bottle bottom glasses. | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 8:51 am |
| I smell something | |
|
| you can tell he is a stud from the way his glasses are carefully balanced over the bridge -- or is it a switch? -- of his bulbous nose... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 9:02 am |
| Now Mary, that was her name, looked him up and down and said 'next time you borrow my lippy and mascara, can you replace in my Handbag' | |
|
| and take your French toast with you, while you're at it. The maple syrup is making a mess in the backup jukebox/ | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 9:12 am |
| In another room there is a discussion on the replacement of the paper cert administrator that they hire some time back and how to fix the network that is in sad shape. | |
|
| they figure that they can burn him at the stake by using his paper certs to start and fan the fire | |
| Shadowwraith 2002-09-06, 9:19 am |
| But, alas in yet another room the paper MCSE sits with his toster oven and maple syrup thinking of the next piece of equipment that will get the googey goo. | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 9:20 am |
| Also they were not to happy to find out that the Mary the network administrator was a man | |
| Shadowwraith 2002-09-06, 9:22 am |
| Especially her seedy boss as he had often had day visions of him and her hand hand repairing servers , cleaning tape drives, and sodering bulbous capisitors to motherboards. | |
|
| he/she had always thought that this fact would be better off kept silent because of the legions of judgemental people who would never try to understand... now that the secret was out, he/she had to wonder whether relocating to another company might not be the best idea? | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-06, 9:25 am |
| meanwhile, a fleet of destroyers and various other starships leave a planet from alpha centauri to conquest the earth. | |
| Shadowwraith 2002-09-06, 9:28 am |
| but little did they all know that the paper MCSE in the other room was actually an intergalitic Space pilot with an armada at his command. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 9:28 am |
| with her many paper certs behind her, not to memtion many 'study guides' she had written, copied from freakpress, she thought she could walk into any position. | |
|
| she would be lucky to perish from the Armada from ALpha Centauri before the freakster could put his hands on her copyright infringing butt! | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 9:37 am |
| the captain , being a paper cert captain, got lost on his way and has currently landed on jupiter | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 9:41 am |
| Just then the ships computer " HAL " went dead. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 9:50 am |
| the first officer asked 'what's that dog with big floppy ears over there?' the captain replied 'Oh don't worry about that, that's just pluto' | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-06, 10:04 am |
| RING RING!. went the phone. It all happened in a second. There I was, sitting straight up in my bed. It was a dream after all. The sun shone full on my face. God Damn it!. I'm late. it's 10:30 AM. I hope that's not the boss on the phone. RING RING!.
HELLO...
| |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 10:06 am |
| I just called to say . . . . | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 10:08 am |
| I am leaving you | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-06, 10:09 am |
| for good | |
| enforcer 2002-09-06, 10:13 am |
| Ebeneezer Goode | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-06, 10:19 am |
| Oh. comon sweetheart! | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 10:25 am |
| Back at the star destroyer Enforcer only the second strongest in the fleet the computer HAL still is dead  | |
| ace123 2002-09-06, 11:43 am |
| The story so far | |
| freak 2002-09-06, 12:29 pm |
| you can't leave me, I made you up! I do not have a gf, just an imaginary one -- now I wonder why that is... | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-06, 12:52 pm |
| mary stood by the coffee machine and reapplied her lipstick. she remembered when she used to be a man. well, she still was a man, she still had the one final operation in her sex-change operation. she just knew she was really a woman. which was why she was so embarassed to still have to use the little boys room at work. which was a funny coincidence, as she had blamed the fact that her boy was so little on the fact that her surgeon always laughed in her face when she demanded that the surgeon remove the boy immediately and make her a woman. | |
|
| ...looks like some of you didn't see that the lead character woke up. Come on, COMEONS, let the Transy GO! 
How much fun is this???? You guys are cracking me up. I'd join, but I no longer know where the story is. Are we in a dream state now or have we woken up, just to be dissed?
 | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-06, 1:46 pm |
| mary had often thought that what one person dreams could be another persons reality. | |
| smokin 2002-09-06, 4:02 pm |
| Back at the star destroyer Enforcer the computer says | |
|
| While I love Star Wars, let's go back to when Mary the paper-cert Transvestite found out she needed to back up from tape... | |
| Deja-vue 2002-09-06, 9:36 pm |
| meanwhile, in a Galaxie, far, far away... | |
| NetChild1985 2002-09-07, 2:26 am |
| the dark lord continues to hack the last of the jedi's servers... | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-07, 3:45 am |
| ..there they all stood, impatiently, looking at the big screens of the HV-6. There seemed to be hope, everybody clutched the hands of his partner as the clock struck the Zero Hour... then in an instant... there it was... the... | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-07, 3:53 am |
| chosen one, the one who.. | |
|
| could defeat the Dark Lord and... | |
| Deja-vue 2002-09-07, 10:52 am |
| save the Empire from ... | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-07, 1:34 pm |
| the revival of Beldeezebub | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-07, 2:19 pm |
| from planet zilog z-80 | |
| Deja-vue 2002-09-07, 2:52 pm |
| which is the planet of... | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-08, 4:28 am |
| Schilsterwiers. | |
| evil_will 2002-09-08, 6:52 am |
| Meanwhile back in gotham city. Mary new what she had to do... digging deep in the archives she irc'd the windows95 plus pack to the dead Hal on the Star destroyer... | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-08, 8:57 am |
| ...upon being resurected back to artificial life, hal quipped, "Mary, what the hell have you done with all my pancake syrup"... | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-08, 9:21 am |
| "i had to use it to refresh the battery cells in the sub-ether radio," she retorted, licking the sticky mess off her lips.
"anyway," she continued, "stop admiring the rings around uranus and get back to work." | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-08, 9:28 am |
| ...by now,,,mary relaized,,,she must inform arthur and ford of the impending hack of all hacks before it was too late,,,so she... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-09, 2:57 am |
| put on some more lippy | |
| smokin 2002-09-09, 5:40 am |
| Then walk out the door | |
| enforcer 2002-09-09, 5:49 am |
| unfortunately she forgot to open the door first and has now got a bloody nose and messed up her lippy | |
|
| But she persisted and tried again. She walked out the door and into yet another room filled with small men with $$ signs in their eyes, feverishly retyping screen shots of what appeared, at first glance, to be nonsense. Hesitantly, she tiptoed in the room, fearful of disturbing them in their glazed-eyes state, closer and closer, until she could finally make out the words of one man's screen. It started, "You are the system's administrator...."
Instantly, she knew! She had entered the Paper-Cert-Generator-Room!!!!! Oh, Joy! If anyone could help her, these men could!!!!!
In her excitement, she flew out the door... | |
| bearing 2002-09-09, 5:51 am |
| ...And headed for the canteen for her cream tea, the clotted cream and the scones had been mailed to her by her sweet old grandma in Devon, England. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-09, 6:09 am |
| "a paper-cert factory," she said in wonderment as she scoffed her buns.
then a though struck her and she drew something on her napkin with her lipstick, she drew... | |
| bearing 2002-09-09, 6:18 am |
| ...a beautiful picture of Buckingham Palace, the picture was so detailed that you could even make out the Queen watching TV... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-09, 6:21 am |
| after getting a closer look, her madge wasn't looking at tv, but was surfing the net on her pc, and was currently viewing www.examnotes.net/forums | |
| ace123 2002-09-09, 8:01 am |
| Just then a big flash of light | |
| enforcer 2002-09-09, 8:58 am |
| did not appear in the sky as expected | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-09, 9:07 am |
| ,,,her madge was in fact the culprit hacking into the paper cert factory servers,,,she was attemting to... | |
|
| ....download all of the Microsoft exams and secretly become a paper cert herself, in order to fool someone into thinking she could actually handle a real job and somehow escape the evil doings of... | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-09, 9:31 am |
| ,,,but of course the queen is not the one to blame here lets not forget,,,mary IS only drawing a picture with her lippy after all,,,what the lippy-glossed picture signified was... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-09, 9:33 am |
| mad anti royal leader, camilla parker bowles | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-09, 9:34 am |
| was indeed a known... | |
| ace123 2002-09-09, 10:06 am |
| the evil one in charge of | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-09, 10:14 am |
| silly british soap opera like dramatic goings on and certifying unqualified wanna-be PC techs | |
| enforcer 2002-09-09, 10:28 am |
| meanwhile for the umpteenth time, mary replaced her lippy. This was sure gonna be a long day. Suddenly a loud noise could be heard from | |
| bearing 2002-09-09, 11:14 am |
| ...the loud noise research laboratory... | |
| ace123 2002-09-09, 12:30 pm |
| and mary drops her | |
| bearing 2002-09-09, 12:50 pm |
| ....lipstick, which is promptly trampled on by a passing herd of wilderbeast who had taken a wrong turn at Alberquerque... | |
| evil_will 2002-09-09, 1:17 pm |
| ..dropped her buttered scone on the nice picture of Buck house (the one that details Her Madge hacking into the paperr cert generation room), totally ruining it.
Pausing only to reflect on the unfortunate choice of brand name, she whipped out her Palm Pilot and started to knock one out on it. The resulting picture was a rare example of a six sided triangle extending into five dimensions, ..starting over she drew it again only this time using the stylus, just as the last stroke of the buck house plan (complete with her madge...) the unfortunatly named Palm Pilots' automatic email facist demanded that she immediatly respond, after convincing Outback Excess Lite that the Urgent mail had indeed been dealt with, she returnd to the paint app only to find it blank.. Not withstanding ...she called up the Auto file recovry feature and succefully restored a backup copy of somebody elses expenses claim..ahhhh....
Mary the Tranny calmed herself down, applied more lippy and thought about the situation.
"What I need is a MAC" says she..just then her phone rang, it was......
Will Mary the tranny ever get a copy of the Buck house Hack she can keep ?
Why whould she want to?
Who was that urgent email from?
What about the unexplained expenses claim?
And what happened to the Hal and the Evil Dark lord? | |
|
| "My LIIPPEEEEE!!!" she cried, as she bent over in an attempt to save her one futile attempt at beauty.
Unfortunately, her rather large behind forced her into a somersault instead of a bend and on the upturn she, too, was promptly and horribly trampled.
Alas, poor Mary died en route to the nearest hospital because the EMTs on call were also Paper-Certs. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-09, 1:25 pm |
| the star destroyers hid in the asteroid belt waiting for the code word for their attack. | |
| ace123 2002-09-09, 1:50 pm |
| the only place the code word was in the data base of the dead computer hal. | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-09, 2:31 pm |
| meanwhile.. Mary went to heaven. and there she met Bill Gates.
"Mary... he said.. what are.." | |
| MistyRing 2002-09-09, 3:19 pm |
| babies and where do they come from? | |
|
| "Ummmmmm..." Mary hesitated, taking one last dying breath.
"C?" | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-09, 8:54 pm |
| bling bling bling bling bling bling, was the sound mary was awoken to. this was the oh so familiar sound she had grown accustomed to waking up to every day, the freakin' alarm clock! "wow", mary exclaimed, stretching her arms while she yawned, "What the XXXX was that"? "thank bill, i mean god, that was a dream" she said. as she dressed that morning, all she could think about while she applied her good ol' trusty lippy was the test she was gonna write that morning. if she passed, she would finally become an MCSE. But alas, were her dreams telling her something, was she really only a paper cert, did she really in all reality only amount to a | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-10, 12:33 am |
| Cross dressing IT wanna be with five o'clock shadow. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-10, 2:27 am |
| and a lipstick applying fixation.
she lifted her crams and her dumps, jumped in her car, put on the tape of herself narrating her dumps and drove to the test centre.
unfortunately, she had forgotten to bring up-to-date photo id with her. all she had was photo id of herself as murray.
"oh linux!" she cursed.
luckily.. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-10, 2:49 am |
| she was well known at the test centre, and the testing supervisor ushered straight into her cubicle.
"I've started the test for you", the supervisor said "you've just got one more question to get right and you will have passed this exam. Good luck"
mary . . . . | |
|
| rushed into the cubicle, gleeful and triumphant, only to trip on a misplaced cord which sent her tumbling, once again, straight into the far-end and rock solid wall.
"Deja-Vu," she thought in wonderment and silently hoped in that last short second - the second before she fell into that deep, dark abyss -that at least in real life the paramedics had studied hard for their certifications and would know how to close the gaping hole in her head.
And she wondered, also, if her lippy was okay. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-10, 5:36 am |
| meanwhile the timer was counting down.
would she be rivived in time to answer that one question she needed, or would she still be just an MCP? | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-10, 5:52 am |
| then, suddenly, the power went off in the test centre.
into the building burst a big silver... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-10, 6:04 am |
| lipstick holder, containing | |
| 2lazybutsmart 2002-09-10, 7:16 am |
| some sticky substance used by aliens from Schilewiser. "Oh My God.. said marry. This is the end of... | |
| ace123 2002-09-10, 7:17 am |
| lipstick  | |
| enforcer 2002-09-10, 7:32 am |
| that's right, to the aliens lipstick is food, and they had come to take all the earth's lipstick away to their own planet | |
| sub_netter 2002-09-10, 8:52 am |
| "nooo", mary cried out, "not the lipstick, anything but the liiiiippppyyyyyyyyy". mary now knew that this was the fight of all fights, she knew she must | |
| enforcer 2002-09-10, 9:06 am |
| quickly put on some lippy, sod the hole in the head that could wait, but she must put on some lippy. | |
|
| ..and then she died. Once and for all. Bright red lips and a gaping hole in her head, where no brains spilled out because they simply weren't there to begin with. Poor Mary the Transvestite. May she rest in peace. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-10, 10:18 am |
| bling bling bling bling bling bling, was the sound mary was awoken to. this was the oh so familiar sound she had grown accustomed to waking up to every day, the freakin' alarm clock!
again another nightmare, or was it, it was getting to be like a film she had once seen, what was it called . . . oh yes groundhog day | |
| ace123 2002-09-10, 10:29 am |
| Mary will never die just like the paper certs as she walks out the door. | |
| TRIBO 2002-09-10, 10:31 am |
| ENFORCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOULD YOU LET HER KICK THE D A M N BUCKET, PLEASE???? | |
| TRIBO 2002-09-10, 10:35 am |
| Okay, so Mary wakes up but realizes with a start that she is not the hewoman she once was. Somehow, she had become a Paper-Certified, Transvestite, Lipstick-Wearing Fanatic... ZOMBIE! Yes! She was Mary the ZOMBIE! | |
| ace123 2002-09-10, 10:41 am |
| In walks her seedy looking boss, balding with a goatee and coca cola bottle bottom glasses.holding a | |
| Deja-vue 2002-09-10, 11:19 am |
| ....Gun, pointing it right at | |
| ace123 2002-09-10, 1:48 pm |
| Marys head but not just any gun It was a | |
| Mr. Linux Guy 2002-09-10, 1:53 pm |
| water gun. | |
| ace123 2002-09-10, 1:56 pm |
| A super soaker 1000 loaded with | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-10, 1:59 pm |
| boss grins: "i just saw my shrink today."
mary: "how nice. what colour lipstick did she wear today?"
boss: "she told me i had to shoot anybody i disliked today. relieve the tension. told me to use a water pistol to avoid imprisonment."
mary: "lucky for you."
boss: "die XXXXX!"
[blimey didn't realise examnotes would filter that.]
boss: "die [female canine]!" | |
|
| Little did her pointy-haired boss know, Mary was a ZOMBIE, and water only annoyed her. At the first splash on her zombie-like lipsticked face, she let out a wail and rushed toward him with her talons twitching.
"Wait!!" her boss cried. "I'll give you stock options! Training! A bonus!!! Please, please don't...." | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-11, 12:13 am |
| Turn me into a zombie, I'm married to one. And in a moment of clarity Mary..... | |
|
|
| enforcer 2002-09-11, 3:42 am |
| decided that computers were not her thing. she hastily said to her boss " I quit"
boss "what are you going to do"
mary " I'm off to start my own cosmetic company, that way i will have an endless supply of lippy"
boss "wait can i come too?"
mary " | |
|
| quote:
what's a matter, you're not seeing yourself in her? are you? j'king
But Enforcer!!! I don't even WEAR LIPPPEEEEE!!!! | |
| enforcer 2002-09-11, 5:49 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by TRIBO
But Enforcer!!! I don't even WEAR LIPPPEEEEE!!!!
just the kind of girl I like, no chance of having lipstick on your collar when you get home. | |
| smokin 2002-09-11, 5:52 am |
| Back on the star ship a A+ tech who is not a paper cert come in.Wait I know what is wrong with HAL | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-11, 9:23 am |
| "he just needs to have scandisk and defrag run," said the a+ tech. "oh, and he's not switched on at the wall either." | |
| Pavlov 2002-09-11, 9:29 am |
| And then this new tech asked... "Has anyone cleared the cache?" | |
| ace123 2002-09-11, 9:31 am |
| With a Flip of a switch HAL started to come a live .Nince to see you guys said HAL | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-11, 2:19 pm |
| meanwhile, in a secluded village by the sea in north wales a man was being chased along the beach by a large weatherballoon. | |
|
| The next thing Mary knew, she was on the starship, blinking and hastily licking her lips. She had been transported by the evil HAL.
"What happened?" she thought. Little did she know, HAL was indeed alive and well, and feeling a little frisky.
"Weeellll, Helloooo..." HAL purred. He could hardly contain his excitement, as lipstick-wearing transvestite zombies had always been his favorite erotic dream.
Mary... | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-11, 10:51 pm |
| Sensing HAL's excitement became curiously aroused by the sound of HAL's digitally enhanced voice transmission. Mary........ | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 2:41 am |
| then woke up with a start to the sound of bing bing bing.
it was her alarm clock again, again she had been having one of those dreams.
back in wales the weather balloon gradually changed shaped, it was starting to look more like an animal as the man was runing away. It was changing into a life size blow fluffy sheep, at which point the man stopped running, turned and | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 4:01 am |
| was consumed by the fluffy sheep. Inside the fluffy sheep the man passed out and when he awoke he........ | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 4:36 am |
| found himself lying on the bed in villa #6.
he much preferred the bed in #6 to sleeping in his jag. he was still on pills for his nerves, but he did not miss being a stand-up comic.
"how you diddlin', my arse!" he whispered as he swalled a handful of pills for his nerves. "what's on the frickin' telly?" | |
|
| (Woops! I missed a whole page!) | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 5:44 am |
| Wait a minute TRIBO how the hell did mary end up in Wales and of all places villa #6. LOL | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 5:46 am |
| 'what's on the frickin' telly?' would have been a good question, if infact there was a telly there to have the question asked about, unfortunately all that was there in the space that formally housed a telly was some wires, one of which was sparking quite nastily. | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 5:52 am |
| Because the telly was ripped out of the wall by a crazed mongoloid who was searching for lemon merengue pie with artificial sweetener | |
|
| I don't know, IGGY! She's bopping all over the place.
Incidentally, I would have gladly killed her off PAGES ago!!!!! | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 5:58 am |
| [another fistful of pills for his nerves]
"how ya diddlin?" he said.
he went to the window and saw the usual array of people walking about in capes or riding penny-farthings. "bloody sod yiz," he said. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 6:02 am |
| one of the men in a rather striking pink and mauve cape turned, looked up and said "why yes, would you like me to come up there, or shall we go somewhere more public?" | |
| netkamoze 2002-09-12, 6:46 am |
| she said no ! and then she got on a plane and flew to africa on a safari to spend time with the wildlife... quote:
it ain't over is it?!
| |
|
| While in Africa, she got hooked to a very entertaining gorilla that she felt at home. | |
| netkamoze 2002-09-12, 6:54 am |
| they worked together in the jungle NOS,managing the network and they got married and lived happily ever after!! quote:
just think!!,its possible!!
| |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 6:56 am |
| the gorilla was much more intelligent and some how she has alway knew it deep down inside.as she and the gorilla were hopping fromm tree to tree she saw a | |
|
| ....then her alarm went off and she realised it was another dream, apparently she had too much work to do her pc that she slept off. | |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 7:19 am |
| Mary look over to her calendar and clock on the wall. She shouted out o no I am late .as she ran out the
Door .She was late for doctor appointment to discuss her problem with Narcolepsy. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 7:20 am |
| so, in the waiting room, she applied some lippy, checked the time, reapplied her lippy, looked at her watch again, realised she had left it at home in her haste to get to work after falling asleep after switching her alarm off, looked at the clock on the wall, remembered she couldn't tell the time so hot in 24-hour (couldn't remember which number you had to delete), asked the receptionist for the time, then fainted. | |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 7:23 am |
| She was not late after all but was 6 hours early | |
| smokin 2002-09-12, 7:48 am |
| As she became awake she wonder what to do for the next six hour as she waits to see the doctor.Stange that this was the first time there was no dream????
A dark hair women enters the waitting room | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 8:07 am |
| a blond man enters the dark haired woman entering the waiting room | |
| bearing 2002-09-12, 8:44 am |
| ...Proclaming he'd spent the last twenty years in prison and had missed the thrill of a dark haired women.... | |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 8:50 am |
| Mary look over to the dark haired women and said.What are you doing here and with him? | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 8:59 am |
| quote:
posted by TRIBO - I don't know, IGGY! She's bopping all over the place.
I know what you mean TRIBO, She's silly like that | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 9:04 am |
| you're pretty naive if you can't tell what we're doing by now, where have you been hiding? | |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 9:06 am |
| Dark haired women and the blond man were both time lords and came to get Mary and bring her back to | |
| bearing 2002-09-12, 9:09 am |
| ....life back to reality.... | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 9:09 am |
| To Istanbul. Yes Istanbul where it all began many years ago when Mary was..... | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 9:10 am |
| [crap. by the time i write a post, somebody beats me to it.] | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 9:11 am |
| not m$ certified. | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 9:11 am |
| Meanwhile back at Villa #6......... | |
| bearing 2002-09-12, 9:11 am |
| Ok, which of those three are we going with. | |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 9:12 am |
| No this time it is not a dream you must come with us NOW! | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 9:12 am |
| Go ahead Comeons have at it. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 9:23 am |
| the blond man said "i am coming, i am coming, hang on a mo, aaahahh ahh hhh h h a argh.. | |
| ace123 2002-09-12, 9:26 am |
|
There was a flash a light a it apeared | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 10:07 am |
| It was the Lord High of oversleepers and other neat stuff. He stared into Mary's bloodshot eyes and with a loud shriek he screamed BING, BING, BING, BING. Mary awoke (This chick gets more sleep than I do)and realized........ | |
| enforcer 2002-09-12, 10:21 am |
| her lippy had smudged on her pillow," oh well lets get the lippy and reapply" she sighed before | |
| bearing 2002-09-12, 10:24 am |
| ....Watching Kilroy, debate whether it's right to piss in policemen's helmets... | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-12, 10:24 am |
| ...and he farted from that chinese food she ate on Malmac... | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 10:40 am |
| But it didn't stink....... | |
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| which she thought was interesting because she did, in fact, have the poo poo platter last night. | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-12, 11:39 am |
| The Poo Poo Platter did taste a little funny... | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 12:18 pm |
| "arse!" she remembered. "my doctor told me not to eat that stuff coz it upsets my sleeping pattern."
"and i laced it with acid," added the blonde man, pulling the mask from his face to reveal... | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-12, 12:20 pm |
| that he looks exactly like Kirk Cameron... | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 12:24 pm |
| Who pulled off a mask and reveled that he was actually Macauley Caulkin. And back at Villa #6................. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-12, 5:10 pm |
| "sod this," the ex-stand-up comic moaned. "i am going to escape!"
he runs outside and pulls the drive off one of those golf-buggy things they drive around the village and speeds off. "imagine admitting you are called #2," he laughed. | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-12, 5:20 pm |
| then he beefed again... | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-12, 10:38 pm |
| As he rode he wondered as to what was the cause of his insanity. Was it the torture he underwent while being held prisoner years ago, or was it simply his over active imagination gone out of control. Either way he decided that he must find his sanity no matter what the price. As he rode he came upon........... | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-12, 10:45 pm |
| ...Jimmy Carter playing golf with Barney and Homer Simpson... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 2:35 am |
| now most people use golf clubs and balls, but jimmy has to be different, he uses cartoon characters.
Homer looked down at jimmy and said "jimmy you have a hole in one"
jimmy replied "yes i know i've been trying to get the wife to sew it up for weeks"
one the next green bob hope was playing with . . . | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 2:59 am |
| bing crosby. but bing didn't like it, so he slapped bob in the mouth.
elsewhere in the locality, abbot and costello where managing a ball game. "who's on first base?" says lou. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 3:40 am |
| 'i don't know' | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-13, 8:01 am |
| I don't know is on third... | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 8:11 am |
| who's on third? | |
| whetstone 2002-09-13, 8:46 am |
| This is starting to sound like a Terry Pratchett novel
nobody's on third because Mary went and let the gooey stuff leak all over and she got stuck to the floor and could not make it to third.
<good time for a > ring ring ring could that be the ever daunting alarm clock again?
Roty | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 8:46 am |
| i don't know is on third. who's on first. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 9:18 am |
| what is the name of the person on first? | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 9:20 am |
| no what's on second. who's on first. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 9:29 am |
| that's what i want to know, who is the guy on first base? | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-13, 9:36 am |
| Correct who is on first base. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 9:41 am |
| who's on first, what's on second and i don't know's on third. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 9:47 am |
| this is a dead parrot | |
| ruscorp 2002-09-13, 9:52 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by enforcer
this is a dead parrot
dead pigeon | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 9:58 am |
| who got to first base with mary? | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 11:25 am |
| the norwegian blue | |
| enforcer 2002-09-13, 1:50 pm |
| gently into marys' ear, as he gradually moved up her inner thigh, raising her skirt as it went.
you could cut the tension in the air with . . | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 2:28 pm |
| a brick. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-13, 2:31 pm |
| [by the way enforcer, you working overtime tonight? from the posts i recall you making on this forum, you seemed to be a i-only-surf-during-working-hours kind of guy. not that you would find me posting during the hours i am meant to be at work. i mean those girls rely on me. you won't find me holed-up in examnotes when i should be helping some 17-year-old filly run a query in access.] | |
| iggy4270 2002-09-14, 2:31 am |
| It seems this thread has crashed and burned. | |
|
| Now it's just sort of a "free association" therapy thread, of sorts.
I don't remember who, exactly, it is -- but one of us (and I guarantee you, it isn't ME!!) needs to go lay on a couch for a few hours and talk about lippy....  | |
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| thecomeons 2002-09-16, 4:10 am |
| sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that comes up. | |
| enforcer 2002-09-16, 4:32 am |
| What made Elizabeth Arden?
When Max Factor | |
| smokin 2002-09-16, 10:55 am |
| back on the star ship you here the tech say | |
|
| Thought I'd come back and visit the thread for a moment, to find out who is going to fess up to the serious need for some couch time.
Enforcer, Comeons.... You guys are a hoot! How on earth am I supposed to concentrate on DNS? I must bid my adieus, say farewell once and for all to Mary the zombie transvestite whose hole in her empty head, alas, spills out nothing but... thoughts of lippee, of course!
216 awaits and I have precious little free time to study. | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-17, 2:01 am |
| mary rolled onto her back and lit a cigarette and thought about what she had just done. | |
| bearing 2002-09-17, 4:02 am |
| ...Yes she'd shot a Welshman, who'd been worrying her sheep all night... | |
| thecomeons 2002-09-17, 4:06 am |
| "there is no such thing as god," had been one of the things he used to tell the sheep. another was: "mmmm. you'd be lovely with mint sauce, darlin'." | |
| enforcer 2002-09-17, 4:08 am |
| unfortunately the sheep were not to happy about this, as it was the only action they had seen for a year, since the day the ram had died after an overdose of lippy.
PS. TRIBO good luck on 216, we are glad we keep you amused | |
| bearing 2002-09-17, 4:12 am |
| ...And they'd always enjoyed pearing over the edge of the cliff, as the Welshman tended to them, it made them feel alive... |
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