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Home > Archive > General Discussion > March 2004 > Military IT Support
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Military IT Support
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| DaDnDe 2004-03-20, 12:44 pm |
| Military Automated Artillery Support Request Line
Ever wonder how the trend of replacing human customer service
representatives with computers could affect the military? Here's
the result.
Picture troops under fire, desperately needing artillery support,
making a phone call and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling the 26th Division's automated artillery
support request line. Please be assured that we will attempt to
assist you with all available resources in the shortest time
possible.
For air support, please call the U.S. Air Force at 1-800-BOMBNOW.
[In enemy language: If you are a member of the [enemy country]
army, we will not be able to assist you. Please contact your own
army's artillery support request line at 1-800-DIEYANK]
*If you are attacking a fixed enemy position, please press 1.
*If you are engaged in mobile defense, please press 2.
*If you are defending a fixed position, please press 3.
*If you are setting up a hasty defense or are about to be overrun,
please press 4.
*If you wish to cancel a prior fire mission request, please press
5.
*Press the star key at any time to return to the main menu.
Please select the type of fire mission you would like.
*If you would like 81mm mortars, please press 1.
*If you would like 105mm howitzers, please press 2.
*If you would like advanced munitions, such as fuel-oil explosives
or scattering mines, please press 3 to speak with one of our
soldier advocates.
*If you would like to request the use of chemical or nuclear
weapons, please press 4 and hold the line. The Secretary of
Defense will speak with you as soon as possible.
Enter the map coordinates of the target you would like to strike,
followed by the pound sign. Please remember to verify your
coordinates and remember that your request may take several
minutes to process.
[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep]
You have entered co-ordinates 323451.
If this is correct, please press 1.
Thank you. Please enter your battalion passcode, followed by the
pound sign. As soon as we verify your passcode, we will begin
processing your request. If you have forgotten your passcode,
please contact 1-800-WE-FUBAR to get a temporary passcode. Please
enter your passcode now.
[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep]
Thank you.
[Pause]
Your passcode has been verified and your request will be
processed. We strongly suggest that you and your comrades take
cover as soon as possible.
Thank you for using the 26th Division's artillery request support
line. | |
| BTomko 2004-03-21, 1:24 am |
| What about the one that goes " This call may be monitered for quality assurance purposes, thank you". | |
| DaDnDe 2004-03-21, 2:17 am |
| this is the US government we are talking about. Quality assurance is a completely different department |
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