|
Home > Archive > General Discussion > March 2003 > And now, the news...
You are viewing an archived Text-only version of the thread.
To view this thread in it's original format and/or if you want to reply to
this thread please [click here]
| Author |
And now, the news...
|
|
| KiwiPete 2003-03-27, 2:31 pm |
| Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle, and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
--------------
After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to "Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Bastards". The bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by cheque, made out in his new name. (The Guardian)
--------------
Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the sick' is for monetary donations only.
(Churchtown Parish Magazine)
--------------
There must, for instance, be something very strange in a man who, if left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on. (Glasgow Evening News)
--------------
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)
--------------
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)
--------------
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (Reuters via The Manchester Evenings News)
--------------
Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler". (Bournemouth Evening Echo)
--------------
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr.Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces."
(Bangkok Post) | |
|
| The last one is very good!!! | |
| thecomeons 2003-03-28, 3:01 am |
| it wasn't very good for me, cuz i'm still trying to pay off the bill.
arthur. | |
| enforcer 2003-03-28, 4:07 am |
| Nice, salami, missing boyfriend Hmmm. | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| KiwiPete 2003-03-28, 1:39 pm |
| "In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.
All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."
Ha.
Sounds like RichardJW to me. |
|
|
|
|
