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Home > Archive > General Discussion > December 2003 > Harte Hanks Surveys
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Harte Hanks Surveys
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| jkhnwspec 2003-12-18, 11:36 am |
| Anyone know how to get them to quit calling and asking to update "their" information?
Just got my 6th or 7th call from them in the last few weeks and I have told each one I don't do surveys, but they keep calling.  | |
| MistyRing 2003-12-18, 11:39 am |
| Got caller ID on your phone? | |
| jkhnwspec 2003-12-18, 11:45 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
Got caller ID on your phone?
Nope! Dang it.
I'm on a PBX. Nortel Meridian system.
We have analog lines coming into the switch and I don't have a display phone; even if we were able to use caller-id.  | |
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| MistyRing 2003-12-18, 12:10 pm |
| Say this to them (substituting the correct name of course):
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling
back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my
pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss
you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes
the first move as long as one of us does.
Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this
is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey."
I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're
not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at
Flamingoes and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you,
but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young,
maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a
childhood spent ice skating or horse riding can give you. I mean, just
a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an XXX like a tortoise
shell. Every man's dream, right?
But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look
at the stuff we've made important in our lives.
It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make
her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm
getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better
heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never
really thought of that before.
I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after she'd
given me the blow-job of my life, I found myself thinking, "Why do I
feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or
her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling
of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't
feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know
what I mean?
Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy
without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.
Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Pontins last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she
figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know
what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we
had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away
in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's
giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not
hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us.
And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's
old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so
we can watch ourselves.
And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help
thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the floor? We've
had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex
aid."
Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful
time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, she really
is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the anal
thing and that gets me thinking about how many times I pressured you
about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness
between us.
But you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's
cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?
It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could
start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?
I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me know,
otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is? | |
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| jkhnwspec 2003-12-18, 3:48 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
Say this to them (substituting the correct name of course):
You'll forgive me for NOT quoting the entire post you made, but I like the idea. Probably wouldn't get the entire thing out before they hung up on me. Thanks for the idea.  | |
| Forsaken 2003-12-18, 3:57 pm |
| Update your information by providing the address and phone number of your local city morgue | |
| jkhnwspec 2003-12-18, 5:08 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Forsaken
Update your information by providing the address and phone number of your local city morgue
That sounds like an devilish idea!
I could use that when the Computer Associates folks call wanting to sell me something too.  |
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