| Author |
On Beards And Evolution
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| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 8:51 am |
| I am an educator and an American.
As an educator, I fulfilled a dream two years ago by becoming principal of my high school. Prior to that time, I taught American history for over twenty years.
I taught with a passion for the patriotism and traditional American values that made our country great. As a member of our local American Legion, I was also the faculty sponsor for our Boys State Club.
I made damned sure that our members dressed and groomed themselves like clean cut American boys. This meant no punk or hippie haircuts. No earrings, no tattoos, and no beards.
Today, I want to talk about beards.
We have just embarked upon a new millenium, one whose beginning marks a critical juncture in the evolution of human civilization. In order to facilitate its progress, it behooves modern men today to abstain from the wearing of beards.
I will grant three exceptions.
First, I will excuse our actors. Sometimes, an actor is called upon to portray a historical figure who wore a beard.
I can relate to this personally. About ten years ago, I was offered the opportunity to play the role of General Stonewall Jackson in a school play.
Normally, I would have considered it a dream come true to play a man like Stonewall Jackson. But with deep regret, I had to turn it down.
It was early in life when I learned that my face was not cut out for the beard I would have had to grow for the part. During a survival camping expedition during my twenties, I went an entire week without shaving.
It was just about all I could stand. My face itched to high heaven until I was able to seek the relief of a razor.
Second, I will excuse certain religious groups. The Amish, in particular, have earned my highest admiration for their old fashioned morality and simple way of life. They deserve a lot of credit. Other
religious groups I deem worthy of their beards are the Orthodox Jews and the Sikhs.
Finally, I will excuse the liberals. If they want to look like the washed up over the hill hippies they truly are, then I won't stand in their way. At least, they look the part.
On the other hand, any good conservatives out there who are still wearing beards would be well advised to shave them off. Our cause can only be strengthened with such a united front.
Otherwise, I see no other legitimate reason for any modern man in this day and age to wear a beard. Any man who does so without just cause is obviously suffering from a deep seated personal inadequacy.
If a man is truly content with his manhood, then why does he need to grow all that excess hair?
What is he trying to hide?
I never cease to be amazed at all the male high school students I see who are wearing beards. Misguided parents who allow this to go on are guilty of the worst form of permissiveness.
These parents need to be teaching and modeling the true ways of manhood,
instead of inciting their sons to flaunt such false symbols thereof, under the phony banners of freedom and self-expression.
Let me make it clear that the grooming standards I am promoting apply to the twentieth century and beyond. Before then, we did not have the knowledge of good grooming and personal hygiene that we have today.
Many Americans lived under very adverse frontier conditions. By necessity, daily survival itself was more important than shaving.
Indeed, pre-twentieth century man was guided by a different set of priorities. Most honorable was our noble quest to fulfill our divine mission of completing our western expansion. Our mission of manifest
destiny.
The many savage Indian tribes who were squatting on our land before we arrived fought us every step of the way. Shaving was the least of our worries.
As Americans, we prevailed. God shone the light upon the glorious path which led to the formation of the great nation we enjoy today.
God blesses American because God blessed America. It's that simple.
Therefore, I fault no man for wearing a beard prior to the twentieth century. After all, many of our most famous Civil War generals wore beards.
Yet, I cannot help but wonder if the Confederacy might have survived if some of Robert E. Lee's military blunders at the Battle of Gettysburg had been made without the itchy distraction of his beard.
I also suspect that Abraham Lincoln's judgement was similarly clouded by
his beard when he conceived and put forth his Emancipation Proclamation.
It wasn't until the early part of the twentieth century when our armed
forces finally wised up. They adopted the practice of giving all recruits a decent haircut, and a shave if necessary, on their first day of basic training.
They finally realized that they can more effectively tap into and train the "inner man" into the fighting machine he was meant to become without a lot of superfluous hair in the way.
History has shown us that military decisions are best made with a clear head. Indeed, a clear head goes hand in hand with a clean shaven face and a decent haircut.
For one of our earliest examples, the Roman warriors favored clean shaven faces, in order to give their adversaries less area to grab hold and pull during hand to hand encounters.
The Romans were also among the first to adopt the "high and tight" hairstyles that most of our recruits wear with honor and pride in our military boot camps today. It is most unfortunate that our Civil War
heroes failed to follow their example.
The twentieth century marked a major turning point in the history of grooming habits of our leaders. The last U.S. president to wear a beard was Benjamin Harrison, who served his term from 1889 to 1893.
Since then, not one of our presidents has ever sported a beard. Not one.
Indeed, the first sixty years of the twentieth century was a golden age
of grooming among men. Most men were clean cut and shaved on a regular basis. Barber shops fluorished in practically every town and city in America.
Sadly, this glorious era was interrupted during the turbulent and ugly decade of the sixties.
Perhaps, the first omen of what was to come took place when Richard Nixon failed to give himself a proper shave before his televised debates with JFK in 1960. His five 'o clock shadows clearly did him in, as he looked like somebody on a wanted poster instead of the dedicated communist fighter he truly was.
As a result of being duped by a more clean shaven and charismatic Kennedy, the American electorate had to endure eight years of Democratic rule and all the turmoil that it wrought.
Shortly after this fateful election, the Beatles came along with their mop style hair cuts. Teenage boys everywhere began to forsake their Brylcream and started growing their hair like the mangy sheepdogs their
heroes emulated. Popular American culture was just beginning its rapid descent into depravity.
The cancer grew even worse with the emergence of the hippies a few short
years later, with even longer, more unkempt hairstyles and beards. Their influence on our American youth was devastating. Clean cut young men everywhere were seduced into their ranks, taking up pot smoking,
internalizing anti-American ideas, and protesting our nation's gallant efforts to stop the spread of communism in Southeast Asia.
Instead of listening to President Nixon and Vice-President Agnew, they began to emulate the likes of Jerry Rubin, Abbie Hoffman, and scores of other radical political agitators who were glorified to high heaven by our liberal news media.
Rock stars with beards and long dirty stringy hair began to multiply like cockroaches. Clean cut wholesome musicians like Lawrence Welk, Pat Boone, and Slim Whitman became passe.
Something was wrong. Our nation was going to hell. The chaos and decline of traditional moral values the hippies wrought was absolute
proof that long hair and beards were clearly inappropriate for modern twentieth century man.
Even the courageous victory of Mayor Daley's Chicago police force against the hippie demonstrators at the 1968 Democratic National
Convention failed to bring us back to our senses. It wasn't until Ronald Reagan assumed the presidency more than ten years later that much of our dignity and national pride began to return.
Today, we are blessed with the knowledge that beards are unsanitary. The excess hair of a beard on a man's face causes the underlying skin to secrete oils at an accelerated rate, clogging up the pores of the skin.
These oils can lead to increased productions of harmful bacteria, resulting in formations of acne and other skin problems. A beard does
nothing more than obstruct the surface area of the face, preventing it from getting the thorough cleansing that it needs.
Common sense says that the cleaning of any type of surface is best achieved in a succession of layers. For instance, consider the task of cleaning a floor that is cluttered with dust balls.
One would not rush right in and mop the floor without first sweeping or vacuuming all that dust. Doing so is just as senseless as trying to wash a face that is cluttered with the stubbles of a beard.
One only needs to examine the face of a man who has just shaven off his beard to see what I'm talking about. What you typically see is a pallid pasty skin tone, populated by the presence of one or more unsightly pimples.
In addition to all the oil and bacteria they generate, beards prevent the facial skin cells from receiving the amount of circulation and sunlight they need. A bearded face is not a happy face.
Don't bring up Santa Claus. He doesn't exist. And even if he did, I would never let him in my house anyway.
The scalp is different. It was designed for hair, and that is where it belongs. God made it that way.
With the hard bony surface of the skull directly beneath, there are fewer subcutaneous layers of skin where bacteria can grow. This is why pimples hardly ever grow on the scalp.
I will say nothing derogatory about nose hairs. They play a vital role in keeping bacteria and dust from entering one's respiratory system. Ear hair also plays an important function in helping to filter out
foreign bodies from entering too deeply into the ear canal, thus serving to prevent harmful infections.
Armpit hairs serve their purpose as well. They work in synchronocity with a man's sweat glands in regulating his temperatures during times of physical exertion and stress.
Unfortunately, evolution has yet to eliminate the unneeded armpit hairs
of women. They look a lot better without them, and they certainly don't need them for their housework. A truly feminine woman in this day and age keeps her armpits shaven.
Hair is good. As long as it is kept in the right places and at the right length.
Finally, the most compelling reason for modern man to shun the wearing of beards is to humbly cooperate with the evolutionary pattern of human civilization which has been destined for us.
I herewith present a bioracial basis for this argument. But before I do, let me make one thing perfectly clear.
Contrary to a lot of popular suspicion, I am not a white supremacist. Being a Caucasian male, I do not consider myself to be a member of a superior race.
Instead, I believe this distinction may very well belong to the Mongoloid race, which includes the various peoples of Asiatic descent. The Chinese and the Japanese are our best known examples.
Marco Polo expressed this view in the year 1290 when he said: "The Chinese are the wisest people in the world." It is no secret that Asians have generally overwhelmed the other races in the academic arenas in our nation's public and private schools and institutions of higher learning.
According to Professor Phillipe Rushton of the University of Western Ontario, who is one of our leading scholars in the scientific
investigation of racial differences, there exist various indices of significant and striking Asiatic superioity.
When compared to identical average measures for Caucasians, for example, Asians have been generally shown to possess larger brains, more brain cells, and higher average IQ scores.
They have also been shown to have higher marital stability, greater tendencies to abide by the laws of their governments, and better mental health and administrative capacities.
They also put us to shame when it comes to sexual restraint. As a whole, the Asians display a significantly reduced proclivity to sexual promiscuity in comparison to all other racial groups.
Indeed, comparative studies have shown that Asian males are, on the average, the least "endowed" of all the racial groups.
If you don't think so, try watching some of their porno films sometime.
Another difference is that Asian males have fewer beards and beards of less thickness than do males of other races. How often do you see a Chinaman with a thick full length beard? My guess would be hardly ever.
There is a chef in one of our local Chinese restaurants who has worn a beard for as long as I can remember. Although it has reached a
considerable length, it is of a very thin and wispy thickness and texture. Such is the case of every beard I have ever seen worn by an Asian male.
The reason for the lower incidence of beards and reduced beard thickness among Asian males is not entirely clear. One theory holds that the early Mongolian people used to burn the faces of their young male
children with heated metal, in order to stop the growth of facial hair, sparing the lip areas for the growth of mustaches.
The Egyptians also possessed an incredible revulsion for facial hair. Many of them would depilate their entire bodies, pencil in their eyebrows, and wear elaborate wigs made of human hair or wool.
All of this demonstrates that much of the wisdom of the ancients became lost with the advent of later civilizations.
I shall now come to the final phase of my theory. For the past several years, I have become personally interested in a body of research which points to the possibility of the existence of extraterrestrial aliens.
I have read extensively the works of a number of noted scholars in this
field. Among them are Dr. John Mack, David Jacobs, Whitley Strieber, and Budd Hopkins.
While reviewing the vast number of sketches that have been made of these alien beings, whether you want to believe they're real, imagined, or intentionally fabricated, one common denominator among them stands out.
Out of all these sketches, not one of them depicts an alien wearing a beard. Not one.
I believe that there may very well be a connection between these alien beings and the Mongolian race. A careful study of these sketches reveals that these beings resemble the Mongolian race to a greater extent than the other races.
The most obvious similarity is that both tend to exhibit a sloping pattern to their foreheads. More significantly, they both appear to exhibit a trait which is clearly indigenous to the Mongolian race.
This trait is known as the "epicanthal fold." This is the biological trait that accounts for the distinctive shape of the eyes that the Asiatic people possess. This same trait also appears evident in many
the alien sketches I have studied.
Could it be that the Mongolian race is our closest genetic human link to these extraterrestrial beings? I don't know. We are probably eons away from finding out.
However, the physical similarities between the Mongolian race and the alien sketches I have studied are certainly compelling enough to warrant further investigation in this direction.
As stated earlier, members of the Mongolian race wear beards to a lesser frequency and of lesser thickness than do males of any other race. If the sketches of the extraterrestrial aliens I have seen are any
indication, they don't appear to wear beards at all.
In my considered opinion, these advanced beings are trying to send us a message. That message is to shave off our beards.
In keeping with the spirit of the new millenium, I now join hands with
my extraterrestrial comrades by calling upon bearded men everywhere to surrender to the will of evolution and shave them off.
Our cooperation will surely facilitate the evolutionary pattern that our Creator, in His divine wisdom, has set in motion for the future course of human civilization. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 8:55 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
When compared to identical average measures for Caucasians, for example, Asians have been generally shown to possess larger brains, more brain cells, and higher average IQ scores.
They have also been shown to have higher marital stability, greater tendencies to abide by the laws of their governments, and better mental health and administrative capacities.
They also put us to shame when it comes to sexual restraint. As a whole, the Asians display a significantly reduced proclivity to sexual promiscuity in comparison to all other racial groups.
Indeed, comparative studies have shown that Asian males are, on the average, the least "endowed" of all the racial groups.
If you don't think so, try watching some of their porno films sometime.
Another difference is that Asian males have fewer beards and beards of less thickness than do males of other races. How often do you see a Chinaman with a thick full length beard? My guess would be hardly ever.
WTF??? Asians show no more restraint sexually than anyone else. And if you think we are all smarter than average, come visit India sometime! | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 9:11 am |
| Damn Jesus that's weird... Maybe a beard is actually alien parasites that make us do weird things and give us cancer? | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:13 am |
| Moustaches are actually kind of OK, they tickle some, but beards just scratch.
Not that the above rant makes much sense on that score, though . . . | |
| peterd 2003-11-21, 9:30 am |
| Hi Guys,
I think that JC's ravings above show why most of the rest of the world think that there's something fundamentally wrong with most Americans...
Regards
Peter | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:35 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by peterd
Hi Guys,
I think that JC's ravings above show why most of the rest of the world think that there's something fundamentally wrong with most Americans...
Regards
Peter
Well, fortunately most Americans I have met haven't been quite that far gone.  | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 9:36 am |
| quote:
When compared to identical average measures for Caucasians, for example, Asians have been generally shown to possess larger brains, more brain cells, and higher average IQ scores.
I'm sure this is due to their lack of facial hair... 
quote:
They also put us to shame when it comes to sexual restraint. As a whole, the Asians display a significantly reduced proclivity to sexual promiscuity in comparison to all other racial groups.
Tell that to the Chinese who are mad at the Japenese for sleeping with their prostitutes.
quote:
Indeed, comparative studies have shown that Asian males are, on the average, the least "endowed" of all the racial groups.
Was this a personal study? I didn't know there was such a case study going on. I guess it was the same people that tested the effect of swallowing sperm on breast cancer.
quote:
If you don't think so, try watching some of their porno films sometime.
Are conservatives allowed to watch porno's? Doesn't that get you kicked out? | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 9:37 am |
| Were not all like that... Matter a fact that's one of the strangest things I've ever heard. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:37 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
I'm sure this is due to their lack of facial hair...
Tell that to the Chinese who are mad at the Japenese for sleeping with their prostitutes.
Was this a personal study? I didn't know there was such a case study going on. I guess it was the same people that tested the effect of swallowing sperm on breast cancer.
Are conservatives allowed to watch porno's? Doesn't that get you kicked out?
Argument is futile. You will be assimilated! | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 9:38 am |
| I'm conservative and I love pornos! | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:38 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Were not all like that... Matter a fact that's one of the strangest things I've ever heard.
Yeah, I think this deserves a special spot as "The Weirdest EN Post Ever". | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:40 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
I'm conservative and I love pornos!
I think conservatives can only watch Baptist porno movies if I am not mistaken. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 9:41 am |
| Baptist, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu it's all good! | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 9:43 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
I think conservatives can only watch Baptist porno movies if I am not mistaken.
I watched one of those once. Had an old black lady palying the organ( musical instument) and a preacher who stated the movie like this:
"Praise Jesus, no give me some Pu$$y!" | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:44 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Baptist, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu it's all good!
A good conservative watching a Catholic and a Muslim go at it on film? You're headed for the fire, Mister! I'll keep a seat warm for you. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 9:45 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
I watched one of those once. Had an old black lady palying the organ( musical instument) and a preacher who stated the movie like this:
"Praise Jesus, no give me some Pu$$y!"
You don't remember the title do you? I'll have to check that one out. I have a thing for Nubian Princesses! | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:46 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
"Praise Jesus, give me some Pu$$y!"
Oh, my . . . I was always under the impression that Jesus was a man and thus had no pu$$y to give. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:47 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
You don't remember the title do you? I'll have to check that one out. I have a thing for Nubian Princesses!
Ah, yes ... I have heard that about a lot of southern conservatives.  | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 9:48 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Oh, my . . . I was always under the impression that Jesus was a man and thus had no pu$$y to give.
Jesus has many followers. I'm sure he has some to spare. If not then he's just being too damn stingy with the pu$$y. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:51 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Jesus has many followers. I'm sure he has some to spare. If not then he's just being too damn stingy with the pu$$y.
Well, if you had all that tail, wouldn't you be a bit stingy with it? | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 9:51 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Ah, yes ... I have heard that about a lot of southern conservatives.
Variety is the spice of life! | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 9:54 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Well, if you had all that tail, wouldn't you be a bit stingy with it?
Nope. I believe in the saying:
"It Ain't no fun less your friends have some."
Except when it comes to my wife. Don't share her with my friends, only strangers. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 9:55 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Nope. I believe in the saying:
"It Ain't no fun less your friends have some."
Except when it comes to my wife. Don't share her with my friends, only strangers.
A pity more men aren't as generous as you. The ladies wouldn't have to be so secretive about our affairs then. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 9:59 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
A pity more men aren't as generous as you. The ladies wouldn't have to be so secretive about our affairs then.
Honestly I don't associate sex with love. Sex is sex. If she falls in love with someone else then so be it, so long as she's happy. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:01 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Honestly I don't associate sex with love. Sex is sex. If she falls in love with someone else then so be it, so long as she's happy.
Neither do I. It's a nice fiction, but one that causes a lot of grief if you believe it. I think the myth was mainly invented by jealous guys so their wives wouldn't be boinking all their buddies. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:04 am |
| I know were my buddies have been so that would be a problem for me. If I didn't know them it wouldn't be that big of a deal. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:05 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Neither do I. It's a nice fiction, but one that causes a lot of grief if you believe it. I think the myth was mainly invented by jealous guys so their wives wouldn't be boinking all their buddies.
Agreed. Now if she was having more sex then me, I'd be jealous . | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:06 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Agreed. Now if she was having more sex then me, I'd be jealous .
Don't worry, she probably is.  | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:08 am |
| Women are lucky! We'll take what we can get while women can have a choice. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:09 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Don't worry, she probably is.
Great! Just what I need to be thinking about while I'm sitting at work and she's sitting at home.. 
Honestly though, I think if it was more exceptable then there would be less divorce. I noticed that I didn't get so attracted to other women until after I wasn't allowed to have them. Not that I could of anyway, but now that I'm not ALLOWED it is so much more appealing. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:11 am |
| Just think J.C. is probably getting all these e-mails from responses we've made that have nothing to do with his previous post. Hehehe | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:11 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Great! Just what I need to be thinking about while I'm sitting at work and she's sitting at home..
Honestly though, I think if it was more exceptable then there would be less divorce. I noticed that I didn't get so attracted to other women until after I wasn't allowed to have them. Not that I could of anyway, but now that I'm not ALLOWED it is so much more appealing.
Ever hear of an open marriage? Then again, it may not be for you. If the forbidden appeals to you, making it unforbidden would cause it lose its charm and thus you would probably have a much poorere fantasy life. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:13 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Just think J.C. is probably getting all these e-mails from responses we've made that have nothing to do with his previous post. Hehehe
Well, I don't think there could be *any* appropriate responses to his original post (other than a guffaw, perhaps!). | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:13 am |
| That's true. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:17 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Women are lucky! We'll take what we can get while women can have a choice.
Thats the truth. Men even make a game out of it, just to justify the ugly chicks. I forget what it's called but its whoever can sleep with the ugliest chick wins.. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:18 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Thats the truth. Men even make a game out of it, just to justify the ugly chicks. I forget what it's called but its whoever can sleep with the ugliest chick wins..
The worst women I've had were still better than nothing! | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:19 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Ever hear of an open marriage? Then again, it may not be for you. If the forbidden appeals to you, making it unforbidden would cause it lose its charm and thus you would probably have a much poorere fantasy life.
I'd be OK with it. The hard part is tricking.. I mean convincing the wife. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:21 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
I'd be OK with it. The hard part is tricking.. I mean convincing the wife.
She probably wouldn't need much convincing, as we lasses are naturally more lecherous than you boys, but she will probably pretend otherwise like a good girl. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:29 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
She probably wouldn't need much convincing, as we lasses are naturally more lecherous than you boys, but she will probably pretend otherwise like a good girl.
Maybe. She' is a jealous person. Where as I'm a recovering slut. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:33 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Maybe. She' is a jealous person. Where as I'm a recovering slut.
What I meant was she wouldn't mind you sharing her. Her sharing you is another matter. We ladies have our own double standards, you know! | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:36 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
What I meant was she wouldn't mind you sharing her. Her sharing you is another matter. We ladies have our own double standards, you know!
Well, it's all or nothing. I can be jealous too you know!
I'm still going to try to find her a girlfriend. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:37 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Well, it's all or nothing. I can be jealous too you know!
I'm still going to try to find her a girlfriend.
It's hard to get jealous over another woman. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:37 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Well, it's all or nothing. I can be jealous too you know!
I'm still going to try to find her a girlfriend.
I thought you were OK with it and your wife had the tight a$$?
Think she would be game for a threesome? | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:38 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
I thought you were OK with it and your wife had the tight a$$?
Think she would be game for a threesome?
That sounds like an offer. Lucky bastard | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:41 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
I thought you were OK with it and your wife had the tight a$$?
Think she would be game for a threesome?
I'm up for it, but the one sided thing doesn't fly with me.
I think so. She's kind of shy but I think most women would be down for a threesome. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:42 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
That sounds like an offer. Lucky bastard
Yeah, I suppose I would be, but my luck just isn't that good. Plus, she'd probably make me buy her plane ticket. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:44 am |
| I had one with one girlfriend but she got jealous that I actually had intercourse with her friend. She is the one that brought it up but she didn't lay down any rules. It was constantly thrown in my face. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:45 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Yeah, I suppose I would be, but my luck just isn't that good. Plus, she'd probably make me buy her plane ticket.
Who your wife or papiya? | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:47 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
I had one with one girlfriend but she got jealous that I actually had intercourse with her friend. She is the one that brought it up but she didn't lay down any rules. It was constantly thrown in my face.
Maybe you should have kept it to yourself. She may have been just trying to test your loyalty. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:48 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Yeah, I suppose I would be, but my luck just isn't that good. Plus, she'd probably make me buy her plane ticket.
Well, fair is fair . . . | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:50 am |
| No she was into having sex with her friend Just not me having sex with her friend I guess. She got over it after we broke up. Now we just use each other. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:51 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Well, fair is fair . . .
I'm not cheap I'll spring for the ticket. And I'll even treat you to a nice dinner and orgy. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 10:52 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Now we just use each other.
Sounds like fun. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:53 am |
| It is. She's my best friend in the world | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:53 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
I had one with one girlfriend but she got jealous that I actually had intercourse with her friend. She is the one that brought it up but she didn't lay down any rules. It was constantly thrown in my face.
I would like to know what she was thinking.
"Well, if me and my friend are naked in bed and having sex, he'll only want me." | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 10:54 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
No she was into having sex with her friend Just not me having sex with her friend I guess. She got over it after we broke up. Now we just use each other.
Now that is a healthy relationship. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 10:55 am |
| Having your cake and eating it too I guess. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 11:04 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
I would like to know what she was thinking.
"Well, if me and my friend are naked in bed and having sex, he'll only want me."
She was probably thinking. "Well, he only has one lingam, so he'll probably use it on me." | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 11:07 am |
| I had a lot of stamina that night for some reason. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 11:13 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
She was probably thinking. "Well, he only has one lingam, so he'll probably use it on me."
HA! if she thought that then she doesn't know men very well. We always do the opposite of what you think. She should have thought that he would not have used it on her at all. This way she wouldn't be disappointed or surprised when he didn't. | |
| enforcer 2003-11-21, 11:23 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
It was constantly thrown in my face.
<spaced reserverd for crude sentance containing the word swallow> | |
| thecomeons 2003-11-21, 11:24 am |
| it's a long thread and i couldn't be bothered to read it. but decided to post anyway. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 11:28 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
HA! if she thought that then she doesn't know men very well. We always do the opposite of what you think. She should have thought that he would not have used it on her at all. This way she wouldn't be disappointed or surprised when he didn't.
On the contrary, you males are quite predictable. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 11:29 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by thecomeons
it's a long thread and i couldn't be bothered to read it. but decided to post anyway.
You should read the first post for no other reason than for its utter stupidity. | |
| enforcer 2003-11-21, 11:32 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by thecomeons
it's a long thread and i couldn't be bothered to read it. but decided to pose anyway.
yeah but you could have shown us your best side.
oh! you did?
My sympathies | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 11:34 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
On the contrary, you males are quite predictable.
Of course we are. Wouldn't be able to understand our own thoughts if we were as complex as the ladies. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 11:42 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Of course we are. Wouldn't be able to understand our own thoughts if we were as complex as the ladies.
| |
| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 1:52 pm |
| I start a totally serious thread to address a serious problem in America and it gets hijacked by a Hindu floozy? What's wrong with all of you people? | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 1:54 pm |
| You were serious? | |
| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 1:55 pm |
| Absolutley. I think I made quite valid points in the above and everyone acts as though it is some kind of joke. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 1:55 pm |
| Why do you have such a vendetta against beards? How is a beard ruining our country? I think it's the crack pots ruining it. | |
| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 2:00 pm |
| Beards breed bacteria and do not allow our skin to get the oxygen they need. In the same way that being exposed to lead-based paints can lead to brain damage, this starvation of our skin is a serious problem. And I think I have demonstrated above that, with certain exceptions, only people who are generally morally corrupt buy into this practice. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 2:07 pm |
| Ok I'm convinced I'm going to kill everyone I see with a beard and every woman with armpit hair! | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 2:13 pm |
| Someone here is terribly confused. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 2:14 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Someone here is terribly confused.
That is an understatement. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 2:19 pm |
| So you say beard are bad. Do you shave your back, legs, armpits?? How about your head, I mean if beards cause brain damage then how come head hear doesn't? What about your testicles and pubes? you don't want any weird bacteria near those. We could also say, about much of your post, that people that eat more fish and vegetables are smarter and less morally corupt then those who eat steak and eggs. You picked one particular attribute and made this wild theory. You didn't take into account the rest of the possibilities.
As for morally corrupt, who are you to judge others morals? I mean Jeffery Dahmer didn't have a beard, Neither did the Son of Sam, or the Gacy. These people were morally Righteous in your eyes? What about your fellow conservative Abraham Lincoln? He had a beard, I guess he was immoral too. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 2:21 pm |
| He was under the influence of a beard when he wrote that crazy proclimation | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 2:22 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
So you say beard are bad. Do you shave your back, legs, armpits?? How about your head, I mean if beards cause brain damage then how come head hear doesn't? What about your testicles and pubes? you don't want any weird bacteria near those. We could also say, about much of your post, that people that eat more fish and vegetables are smarter and less morally corupt then those who eat steak and eggs. You picked one particular attribute and made this wild theory. You didn't take into account the rest of the possibilities.
As for morally corrupt, who are you to judge others morals? I mean Jeffery Dahmer didn't have a beard, Neither did the Son of Sam, or the Gacy. These people were morally Righteous in your eyes? What about your fellow conservative Abraham Lincoln? He had a beard, I guess he was immoral too.
I don't think logical arguments is the appropriate response here. Not that I am sure what the appropriate response might be ... ridicule, maybe? | |
| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 2:29 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
So you say beard are bad. Do you shave your back, legs, armpits?? How about your head, I mean if beards cause brain damage then how come head hear doesn't? What about your testicles and pubes? you don't want any weird bacteria near those. We could also say, about much of your post, that people that eat more fish and vegetables are smarter and less morally corupt then those who eat steak and eggs. You picked one particular attribute and made this wild theory. You didn't take into account the rest of the possibilities.
As for morally corrupt, who are you to judge others morals? I mean Jeffery Dahmer didn't have a beard, Neither did the Son of Sam, or the Gacy. These people were morally Righteous in your eyes? What about your fellow conservative Abraham Lincoln? He had a beard, I guess he was immoral too.
The absence of a beard does not indicate moral soundness, but the presence of one is usually a good indicator or moral turpitude.
As I have stated, there are places where hair is suitable and other places where it is not. This is what makes all the difference. Hair in itself is not evil, only beard hair has that dubious distinction.
You will also recall that as I mentioned above, a beard on a man like Lincoln could muddy his thinking and cause him to make incorrect moral choices.
Jeffrey Dahmer wore a goatee at one time. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 2:32 pm |
| What do you consider Moral?
And how can some hair cause immorality or show a pattern of immorality when other hair doesn't.? | |
| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 2:35 pm |
| I reiterate, it is only a theory, but one which has a great deal of circumstantial evidence to support it. I notice few threads in this forum have gotten so much attention so quickly. I think this is further evidence of how important this topic really is. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 2:36 pm |
| Actually it's just boredom. There only a few post relating to you research. | |
| Jesus Christ 2003-11-21, 2:38 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Actually it's just boredom. There only a few post relating to you research.
A good point! And I will bet than more than a few of the responders have beards. | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 2:40 pm |
| You so crazy! | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 2:41 pm |
| I'm taking your picture off my profile.
| |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 2:53 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
A good point! And I will bet than more than a few of the responders have beards.
Not on my chin, anyways. | |
| MistyRing 2003-11-21, 3:04 pm |
| Didn't Alan Alda have a beard at one point? I always thought he was evil.
What about your namesake Mr Christ? He had one if you believe the scriptures. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 3:05 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
Didn't Alan Alda have a beard at one point? I always thought he was evil.
What about your namesake Mr Christ? He had one if you believe the scriptures.
Do the scriptures actually say that or is that just convention? | |
| ClintonN 2003-11-21, 3:10 pm |
| Yeah but he wasn't a blue eyed white guy. | |
| MistyRing 2003-11-21, 3:13 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Do the scriptures actually say that or is that just convention?
no idea but i don't suppose they had very effecient razor blades | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 3:15 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
no idea but i don't suppose they had very effecient razor blades
Oh, no? Then how do you explain circumcision??? | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 3:15 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ClintonN
Yeah but he wasn't a blue eyed white guy.
A pity. I always thought that they were kind of attractive. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 3:23 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Oh, no? Then how do you explain circumcision???
They were real men back then. They just used a sharp stone and a hammer. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 3:24 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
They were real men back then. They just used a sharp stone and a hammer.
Being a girl did have its advantages! | |
| thecomeons 2003-11-21, 3:45 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
They were real men back then. They just used a sharp stone and a hammer.
if they couldn't find a sharp stone, they just battered away with the hammer until it had the same effect | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 3:51 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by thecomeons
if they couldn't find a sharp stone, they just battered away with the hammer until it had the same effect
Looks to me like that might damage the willy a tad? | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 3:51 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Being a girl did have its advantages!
In that area of the world. They used to preform a female version where they cut off the clit. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 3:53 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
In that area of the world. They used to preform a female version where they cut off the clit.
A dreadful crime. But fortunately mine is still in tact.
For the guys: http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/ | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 4:00 pm |
| I've come to prefer it without the foreskin. I think he would look weird with his turtle neck on. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 4:03 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
I've come to prefer it without the foreskin. I think he would look weird with his turtle neck on.
Suit yourself. Jesus, this thread almost has a hundred replies already. The old Nazarene sure knows how to get people's attention! | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 4:09 pm |
| Your talking about a guy who had a whole book written about him. Of course he can spark a conversation. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 4:10 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Your talking about a guy who had a whole book written about him. Of course he can spark a conversation.
Just one? | |
| prezbedard 2003-11-21, 4:17 pm |
| I got me a goute on my chinny chin chin. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 4:21 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Just one?
Well, more like a very long series. | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 4:38 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Well, more like a very long series.
A pretty dull series, if you ask me. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 5:07 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
A pretty dull series, if you ask me.
Not my favorite reading material either. I prefer Peirs Anthony, Stephen King, and anything by Sin City Productions. | |
| enforcer 2003-11-21, 5:09 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Oh, no? Then how do you explain circumcision???
I'd rather, not thank you  | |
| Papiya 2003-11-21, 5:17 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
Not my favorite reading material either. I prefer Peirs Anthony, Stephen King, and anything by Sin City Productions.
Colin Wilson, Anne Rice, Shobha De and Immanuel Kant here. | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-21, 6:46 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Papiya
Colin Wilson, Anne Rice, Shobha De and Immanuel Kant here.
Whoops.. I forgot about Anne Rice.. Read her Witching Hour Series, and about 5 or 6 of the Vampire Chronicles.. | |
| MistyRing 2003-11-22, 5:12 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by mindmesh
I've come to prefer it without the foreskin. I think he would look weird with his turtle neck on.
I never figured out how it would work with the skin off? | |
| azimuth40 2003-11-22, 11:25 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
I never figured out how it would work with the skin off?
Never had a problem, you just use the "afterskin". | |
| mindmesh 2003-11-22, 10:35 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
I never figured out how it would work with the skin off?
Works the same, just doesn't look like a turtle in a shell when it's not "up". | |
| Supertech 2003-11-22, 11:41 pm |
| Dear Jebus,
I think the scariest part of your post was in the first paragraph. Only in Mississippi would they let a cracker like you be a High School principle. |
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