|
Home > Archive > General Discussion > October 2003 > Things you don't want to hear in surgery.
You are viewing an archived Text-only version of the thread.
To view this thread in it's original format and/or if you want to reply to
this thread please [click here]
| Author |
Things you don't want to hear in surgery.
|
|
| Boulware5 2003-10-26, 2:07 am |
| 1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
2. Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
6. Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie.
7. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
8. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
9. Darn, there go the lights again...
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.
11. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
12. Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off..
13. What's this doing here?
14. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here..
15. That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
16. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
17. Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
18. Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?
19. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
20. And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape. OK, now take a picture from this angle.
21. This is truly a freak of nature.
22. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
23. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
24. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
25. What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
26. She's gonna blow! Everybody take cover!!!
27. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
28. Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing! | |
|
|
| Tennman 2003-10-26, 6:51 am |
| I remember some years ago I had a gall bladder operation and while in the operating room I was watching everbody and they started putting me under and I said to them " hey gang, it is startind to get dark in here." | |
| Tech Ranger 2003-10-26, 8:48 am |
| That medication is great. My hand doesn't seem to be shaking nearly as much.
Isn't this thing supposed to be connected to an organ?
Is this supposed to be a male?
I'm getting nauseous.
I said 10 ml., not 100.
I think he still has a chance.
The X-Rays didn't look this bad.
What do you mean we ran out of 0 Negative. | |
| student615 2003-10-26, 3:49 pm |
| A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.
Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the doctor about it. "Don't worry about a thing, nurse," the doctor assured her. "He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic." | |
| Stizzy 2003-10-26, 5:09 pm |
| I had gone to the emergency room because my thumb had been cut in half due to an accident. I'm almost in tears because the initial shock and adrenaline had worn off and the nurse has my relief from the pain and she's arguing with another nurse over whether my last name was Irish or Swedish. Tried to see how long I could withstand the pain before I passed out or before the nurse gave me my friggin shot. It's always nice when you're treated like meat.  | |
| mir92 2003-10-27, 12:49 am |
| I've heard of people who were put to sleep, but during the opration they woke up, but still paralized, os they could'nt speak.
The bad thing is they felt everything that was happning to them during the opration.
Another story on cable, had a man that had a simple oporation. About a week after he went back to the Doc, complaning of a metalic
taste. The doctor brushed it aside and gave him something for it.
After time passed he went to an emergency room, and had an xray done.
He had a organ displacement tool in his belly, from the last oparation.
They oparated on him to take the tool out and discovered he contracted the flesh eating bacteria from the tool, by the fact they needed to vacume his gooed up flesh. He had to spend time
in the hospital to get rid of the bacteria
by leaving his belly open and stuff bleach soaked rags in his belly.
He servived. |
|
|
|
|