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Home > Archive > General Discussion > January 2003 > Ouch!
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| Mr. Linux Guy 2003-01-21, 6:49 am |
| Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting
her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to
pickup some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting
in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes
closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One
customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes
were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if
she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the
back of the head, and had been holding her brain in for over
an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the
car because the doors were locked, and Linda refused to
remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they
found that Linda had a wad of bread stuck to the back of
her head.A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the
heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and
the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she
reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and
thought it was her brains. She initially passed out but
quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
And, yes, Linda is a blonde. | |
| MartyMcFly 2003-01-21, 6:59 am |
| doh!
or in this case
dough! | |
| sasquatchmann 2003-01-21, 7:21 am |
| She sounds a bit 'Half baked' to me! | |
| jojogun 2003-01-21, 7:23 am |
| food for thourt | |
| ANDRONDA 2003-01-21, 8:21 am |
| This story originated in a Brett Butler routine. She used to tell it using her sister as the dumb blonde. Every so often I see it making its rounds across the internet. Sometimes it is portrayed as a real news story and circulated via chain email.
Funny though. | |
| Mr. Linux Guy 2003-01-21, 8:32 am |
| Real or fake, it's still funny.  | |
| ANDRONDA 2003-01-21, 9:57 am |
| Absolutely!
Here is anouter one widely circulated as true:
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place was the trailer. | |
| freak 2003-01-21, 12:45 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Linux Guy
Real or fake, it's still funny.
I agree, that's a riot! | |
| freak 2003-01-21, 12:46 pm |
| OMG, scary!
quote:
Originally posted by ANDRONDA
Absolutely!
Here is anouter one widely circulated as true:
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place was the trailer.
| |
| theshewolf 2003-01-21, 1:46 pm |
| As a blonde, gotta love those blonde jokes and bashings. | |
| gr33nd4yg1rl 2003-01-21, 11:11 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Linux Guy
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting
her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to
pickup some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting
in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes
closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One
customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes
were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if
she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the
back of the head, and had been holding her brain in for over
an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the
car because the doors were locked, and Linda refused to
remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they
found that Linda had a wad of bread stuck to the back of
her head.A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the
heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and
the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she
reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and
thought it was her brains. She initially passed out but
quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
that's the craziest thing i've ever read! | |
| iggy4270 2003-01-22, 1:17 am |
| LMAO - To funny, especially the boat trailer. | |
| sasquatchmann 2003-01-22, 4:56 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by gr33nd4yg1rl
that's the craziest thing i've ever read!
I take it then you've never read 'The Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy'
Now that's the craziest thing I've read, while also being up there as one of the funniest things I've read. | |
| Epidemic 2003-01-22, 9:50 am |
| An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some
questions?
Girl: OK
Medic: What's your name?
Girl: Sharon
Medic: OK Sharon, is this your car?
Sharon: Yes
Medic: Where are you bleeding from?
Sharon: Romford, mate? | |
|
| lol  | |
| sasquatchmann 2003-01-22, 10:00 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Epidemic
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some
questions?
Girl: OK
Medic: What's your name?
Girl: Sharon
Medic: OK Sharon, is this your car?
Sharon: Yes
Medic: Where are you bleeding from?
Sharon: Romford, mate?
Diss the Brits why don't you!!!
Mind you they are a bit on the dumb side them Essex girls... | |
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| Teck Shark 2003-01-22, 10:14 am |
| Good ones! Here's another one...
Blonde on a plane
There was this blonde who bought a coach ticket to go to Chicago.
She boards the plane and sits in the first class area.
The stewardess comes over and says "ma'am your ticket says coach you must move to the coach area".
The blonde says "I'm a beautiful blonde and going to Chicago".
The stewardess says "you must move to the coach area".
The blonde says "I'm a beautiful blonde and going to Chicago".
The stewardess goes over and gets the head stewardess. The head stewardess comes over and says "ma'am you must move to coach."
The blonde says "I'm a beautiful blonde and going to Chicago".
The stewardesses look at each other and decide to go get the captain.
The captain comes over and says" ma'am your ticket says coach you must move to the coach area".
The blonde says "I'm a beautiful blonde and going to Chicago".
The captain shakes his head and bends down and whispers in her ear.
All of a sudden she jumps up grabs her luggage and goes over to the coach area.
The stewardesses look at each other and ask the captain "What did you say to her?"
The captain says " I told her first class wasn't going to Chicago." | |
| JohnDeere 2003-01-24, 5:17 pm |
| LOL | |
| jojogun 2003-01-27, 3:32 am |
| what does an essex girl use for protection
a bus shelter | |
|
| oh, man... that one should come with a warning label | |
| MartyMcFly 2003-01-28, 11:48 am |
| NO! this should come with a warning label
Q:what's the difference between a Ritz and a Lesbian?
A: one's a snack cracker, and one's a crack snacker. | |
| salvy 2003-01-28, 12:23 pm |
| A business man got on an elevator in a tall building. When he entered the
elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying,
"T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile
and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again answers "S-H-I-T."
The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she
said,"T-G-I-F. It means Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "S-H-I-T - - - Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
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