General Discussion - Dumb California Laws

Author

Dumb California Laws

Deja-vue

2002-07-24, 9:49 am

15 Years of California is enough for me.
Time to move on.

Look at some of the Laws here in our beautiful Sunshine State:

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Dumb California Laws

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Bathhouses are against the law.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.
Arcadia
Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
Alhambra
You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
Baldwin Park
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Belvedere
City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Blythe
You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
Burlingame
It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.
Carmel
Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)
Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
Chico
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
Downey
It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
Hollywood
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
Lafayette
You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
Lodi
It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
Lompoc
It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
Long Beach
Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
Los Angeles
It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
You may not hunt moths under a street light.
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
Toads may not be licked.
It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
Zoot suits are prohibited.
Ontario
Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
Pacific Grove
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
Palm Springs
It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
Pasadena
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
Prunedale
Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
Redlands
Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
Riverside
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
San Diego
It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.
The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
San Francisco
Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.
It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
San Jose
It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
Santa Monica
You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
Temecula
Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
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A short story...
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten teargas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up.

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun but unfortunately he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

got it from ahajokes.com.

Slinky

2002-07-24, 10:02 am

http://www.dumblaws.com The link is currently unavailabe, but should be back up in the near future.

wbafrank

2002-07-24, 10:59 am

And you those laws were odd try these few:

Laws of England

Under the reign of Elizabeth I, any person found guilty of "harboring a Catholic priest" would be tortured or even hanged. Any priest of the Catholic faith that was caught would be hanged, drawn, and quartered.

With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I)

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).

It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI)

Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.

A bed may not be hung out of a window.

It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas day.

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.

It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

Destroying or defacing money is illegal.

If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.

All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.

You may not make out in public.

It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.

Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.

Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.

One may not "blemish the peace".

A license is required to keep a lunatic.

Damaging the grass is illegal.

And now for a couple of City Laws:

Chester
You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Hereford
You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

Liverpool
It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

London
Companies may vote in local elections.

York
Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.

thecomeons

2002-07-24, 12:51 pm

crazy

azimuth40

2002-07-24, 2:03 pm

Some of us in California understand the anti-toad licking law.

gr33nd4yg1rl

2002-07-24, 10:30 pm

quote:
Arizona - You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

wtf

azimuth40

2002-07-25, 12:17 am

quote:
Originally posted by gr33nd4yg1rl

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Arizona - You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
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wtf

What else can one say but "Exactly the point"

enforcer

2002-07-25, 4:51 am

quote:
Originally posted by wbafrank
And you those laws were odd try these few:

York
Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.

MistyRing, don't go down to York mate.

MistyRing

2002-07-25, 5:39 am

I'm heading there right now. When I arrive I intend to dye my hair bright orange, don full highland dress and march up & down the main street quoting extracts from Braveheart.

enforcer

2002-07-25, 5:50 am

quote:
Originally posted by MistyRing
I'm heading there right now. When I arrive I intend to dye my hair bright orange, don full highland dress and march up & down the main street quoting extracts from Braveheart.

lol

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