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Home > Archive > General Discussion > November 2002 > Worlds worst jokes
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Worlds worst jokes
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| bearing 2002-11-19, 9:28 am |
| We've had plenty of good jokes on here but whats the worst you've heard...
Here's one from off the top of my head...
Two parrots sat on a perch, one says to the other, "Can you smell fish?" | |
| gr33nd4yg1rl 2002-11-19, 9:35 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by bearing
We've had plenty of good jokes on here but whats the worst you've heard...
Here's one from off the top of my head...
Two parrots sat on a perch, one says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"
yeah, man that's the worst.
i don't get it | |
| gr33nd4yg1rl 2002-11-19, 9:39 am |
| A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man finally got up and said, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."
The woman said, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" | |
| Slinky 2002-11-19, 9:40 am |
| A toothless termite walks into a pub and says, "Is the bartender here?"
Two cannibals eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny?"
A man goes into the Doctors with a strawberry growing out of his head. The Doctor says, "I'll give you some cream for that."
A man goes to the Doctor's with a steering wheel coming out of his trousers. "Doctor, this thing is driving me nuts."
A man visits the Doctor wearing nothing but cling film. The Doctor says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
A man goes to the Doctors and complains that he can't stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home. The Doctor ponders and says, "You've got Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" replies the man, to which the Doctor says, "It's not unusual."
What do you call a raver in a filing cabinet? Sorted
A Jewish woman's husband dies. She phones up the local paper to put in the message "Husband died". The receptionist informs her that for the same price, she can have five words, so she changes it to say, "Husband died. Volvo for sale."
Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
A man goes to the Doctors complaining that he can't pronounce any word beginning with F, or T. The Doctor says, "Well, you can't say fairer than that then."
Two nuns sat on a bench. A man in a long coat walks past, and flashes them. One had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.
Two nuns in a bath. "Wears the soap?" asks one. "It does, doesn't it", replies the other.
Two nuns walking through a graveyard. Dracula jumps out from behind a gravestone and demands blood. "Quick, show him your cross", yells one nun. "PISS OFF!", shouts the other.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
What's white and floats in the sky? The coming of the Lord
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no knackers? Still no XXXXing idea
What do you call a man in the sea with no arms and legs? Bob
What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lilly
What do you call a girl with a tile on her head? Ruth
What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug
What do you call a man with no spade in his head? Douglas
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his arse? Warren
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff
What do you call a man with a seagull and a car on his head? Clifford
What do you call a man under ground? Pete
What do you call a man with a paper bag over his head? Russell
Knock Knock….who's there? Biggish……sorry mate, no spare change (English gag)
Knock Knock…who's there? Whurlitzer….whurlitzer who? (in the style of the King) Wurlitzer one of the money, two for the show…..
Who invented fire? Some bright spark.
Who invented the sewing machine? Some clever old so and so.
Did you hear about the Irish papershop? It blew away. | |
| Slinky 2002-11-19, 9:42 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by gr33nd4yg1rl
yeah, man that's the worst.
i don't get it
Perch=A kind of fish. Duh!  | |
| thecomeons 2002-11-19, 9:56 am |
| what's the difference between a duck? one leg is both the same. | |
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| RobSchrip 2002-11-19, 11:15 am |
| Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't. You get down off a duck.
Q: How do you get out of an elephant?
A: You just run around and around until you get pooped out. | |
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| jonhiker 2002-11-19, 5:50 pm |
| What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, it won't come to you, anyway.
A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink.
THe bartender says, do you want to pay cash or run a tab.
The duck says"just put it on my bill?" | |
| kate39 2002-11-19, 6:07 pm |
| this guy walks into the bar and sees three dudes with green hair.
he walks up to the first one and says 'why do you have green hair?'
the guy says 'oy-oy-oy!'
he walks up to the second guy and says 'why do you have green hair?'
the guy says 'ask my stylist and thanks for bringin' it up, buddy!'
he walks up to the third guy and says 'why do you have green hair?'
the third guy wipes his nose upwards, over his hair and replies 'i dunno!'
that's gotta be the lamest. | |
| Tech Ranger 2002-11-19, 8:30 pm |
| Why do sperm banks pay more than blood banks? Sperm is hand made. | |
| Supertech 2002-11-19, 8:34 pm |
| Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A. To stamp out forrest fires.
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Q. Why do elephants have flat feet?
A. Do stamp out burning ducks. | |
| enforcer 2002-11-20, 5:43 am |
| There's a town in Herts named Tillit.
There's a pub in Tillit named the Cockwell Inn.
Lucy Lykes is the owner.
Send Lucy a letter at
Lucky Lykes
Cockwell Inn
Tillit
Herts.
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An eskimo's car breaks down in a small lane in Wales. A local man stops to help. after having a good look at the engine, he tells the Eskimo "You've blown a seal." the Eskimo replies "So what you fcuk sheep". |
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