| Author |
Which Type of Woman is Your Wife
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| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 2:26 pm |
| Sit back, relax, take a break and enjoy:
INTERNET woman: Woman of difficult access.
SERVER woman: Always busy when you need her.
WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER woman: She is not worth for anything, but at least she is fun!
RAM woman: She forgets everything you say when you disconnect her.
HARD-DISK woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
USER woman: She messes up everything she does and she asks always more than she needs.
CD-ROM woman: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything. | |
| gr33nd4yg1rl 2002-11-18, 2:33 pm |
| lOl | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 2:36 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by gr33nd4yg1rl
lOl
Oh crap, I knew the first person to reply would be female. Now I'll be dateless for a while.  | |
| Pavlov 2002-11-18, 3:04 pm |
| I see you're working hard again ruscorp  | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 3:12 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Pavlov
I see you're working hard again ruscorp
Today was a slow Monday. Tomorrow I'll bet I'll have a lot to do. | |
| gr33nd4yg1rl 2002-11-18, 3:39 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
Oh crap, I knew the first person to reply would be female. Now I'll be dateless for a while.
ha!
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| kate39 2002-11-18, 5:58 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
Oh crap, I knew the first person to reply would be female. Now I'll be dateless for a while.
i'm assuming that when you dO get a 'date' it's of the Excel/Windows variety. how far off can i be?
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| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 6:21 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by kate39
i'm assuming that when you dO get a 'date' it's of the Excel/Windows variety. how far off can i be?
No, my last date was with a HARD-DISK woman. | |
| kate39 2002-11-18, 6:33 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
No, my last date was with a HARD-DISK woman.
oh! thAt's good. so i'm assuming she remembers you.
 | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 6:34 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by kate39
oh! thAt's good. so i'm assuming she remembers you.
Not the good times... | |
| kate39 2002-11-18, 6:40 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
Not the good times...
sounds bad, dude. find another one.
 | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 6:44 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by kate39
sounds bad, dude. find another one.
I'm trying my hardest. | |
| kate39 2002-11-18, 6:46 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
I'm trying my hardest.
i wish you luck ruscorp.
do not seek, and you shall find!
| |
| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 6:48 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by kate39
i wish you luck ruscorp.
do not seek, and you shall find!
Believe me, I am not seeking... | |
| kate39 2002-11-18, 6:52 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
Believe me, I am not seeking...
your soulmate's out there somewhere..
i accidentally bumped into mine..
| |
| ruscorp 2002-11-18, 6:57 pm |
| How come not one guy answered this thread? Was it just bait for women? | |
| kate39 2002-11-18, 7:00 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
How come not one guy answered this thread? Was it just bait for women?
they're prob'ly worried about their wives looking over their shoulders. f*ck if i can make sense of it. hmmm..
unless of course you are trying to find ways of meeting chix, in which case anything with the word 'woman' or 'wife' will attract them.
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| azimuth40 2002-11-18, 7:11 pm |
| Hey ruscorp, here is a ten foot pole, you can have it since I won't be using it to touch this thread. | |
| kate39 2002-11-18, 7:17 pm |
| hehehehehe!
| |
| enforcer 2002-11-19, 5:14 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
Oh crap, I knew the first person to reply would be female. Now I'll be dateless for a while.
no change there then. | |
| enforcer 2002-11-19, 5:18 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by azimuth40
Hey ruscorp, here is a ten foot pole, you can have it since I won't be using it to touch this thread.
10 ft pole, I'm not sure that will attract too many women. | |
| thecomeons 2002-11-19, 6:02 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
Now I'll be dateless for a while.
you mean your oranges have no pips? | |
| azimuth40 2002-11-19, 3:56 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by enforcer
10 ft pole, I'm not sure that will attract too many women.
Well sure it will.
Just look for the ones with ten foot pole marks all over them. | |
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| HOOLIGAN 2002-11-19, 4:35 pm |
| quote:
Also if you don't want to clean the freakin' place well hell you don't have to
Thats why you get a wife. so you never have to clean the place again or do the laundry or cook or run down to the off license when you run out of beer, etc etc ............ | |
| RichardJW 2002-11-19, 4:42 pm |
| quote:
Thats why you get a wife. so you never have to clean the place again or do the laundry or cook or run down to the off license when you run out of beer, etc etc ............
Then it is settled. I will marry my cleaner. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-19, 5:20 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by azimuth40
Hey ruscorp, here is a ten foot pole, you can have it since I won't be using it to touch this thread.
Obviously someone on the short end of a divorce settlement. | |
| jonhiker 2002-11-19, 5:29 pm |
| I thought they were funny, i'm sending the list to my ex.... | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-19, 5:33 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by jonhiker
I thought they were funny, i'm sending the list to my ex....
Finally, someone with a sense of humor. | |
| RichardJW 2002-11-19, 5:37 pm |
| Hey come on! Marrying your cleaner is not funny? | |
| jonhiker 2002-11-19, 5:54 pm |
| originally posted by RichardJW
quote:
Hey come on! Marrying your cleaner is not funny?
depends on your cleaner... | |
| kate39 2002-11-19, 6:00 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by RichardJW
Hey come on! Marrying your cleaner is not funny?
it's prob'ly downright scary in the UK.
| |
| RichardJW 2002-11-19, 6:01 pm |
| quote:
depends on your cleaner...
Worry you not - you see I will get hold of at least half a thousand resumes ... I will be looking for advanced degrees, a commitment to the job in hand, an unassuable commitment whether this leads to fufillment or not - what would really turn my toes is the insistence on a pre-nuptial agreement - shows commitment. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-19, 6:02 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by RichardJW
Hey come on! Marrying your cleaner is not funny?
Kinky. | |
| RichardJW 2002-11-19, 6:10 pm |
| quote:
Kinky.
Good. I'm going to sleep. Keep you informed. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-19, 6:11 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by RichardJW
Good. I'm going to sleep. Keep you informed.
Nite, nite. | |
| RichardJW 2002-11-19, 6:12 pm |
| I'm asleep. snoooore snooooooooore. | |
| kate39 2002-11-19, 6:21 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by RichardJW
I'm asleep. snoooore snooooooooore.
dreaming of maids.....ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz..
? | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-19, 6:26 pm |
| If I kicked azimuth40's azel would, anyone care? | |
| Tech Ranger 2002-11-19, 8:23 pm |
| A good technician should service his wife periodically, especially if she needs a hot fix. Some wives are like encrypted folders. It can be so hard sometimes to get them open and gain access. Does anybody have a SCSI chart. I need to see if my length is excessive. My wife sometimes complains when I don't configure my SCSI devices correctly. My wife says that I am like an FTP server connected to a dial up connection. It can take forever for me to download. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-19, 8:43 pm |
| quote:
Originally posted by Tech Ranger
A good technician should service his wife periodically, especially if she needs a hot fix. Some wives are like encrypted folders. It can be so hard sometimes to get them open and gain access. Does anybody have a SCSI chart. I need to see if my length is excessive. My wife sometimes complains when I don't configure my SCSI devices incorrectly. My wife says that I am like an FTP server connected to a dial up connection. It can take forever for me to download.
hehe, good one Tech Ranger! | |
| RichardJW 2002-11-20, 1:26 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by Kate39
dreaming of maids.....ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz..
?
No dreams. A deeply satisfying unconcious kind of sleep | |
| thecomeons 2002-11-20, 2:41 am |
| is she doing the shake and vac? | |
| enforcer 2002-11-20, 4:56 am |
| Why is a woman like a milk carton?
Because it's cold in the morning and bugger to get the flaps open. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-20, 9:48 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by enforcer
Why is a woman like a milk carton?
Because it's cold in the morning and bugger to get the flaps open.
I don't think me and enforcer will have dates for a while. | |
| enforcer 2002-11-20, 9:57 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by ruscorp
I don't think me and enforcer will have dates for a while.
not eating anykind of dried fruits at the moment. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-20, 10:00 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by enforcer
not eating anykind of dried fruits at the moment.
That was too much info for me. | |
| namrak 2002-11-20, 10:09 am |
| Heh, enjoyable thread. Thanks for the original post ruscorp. Its the kind of thing you send off to your male friends to openly snigger at, but laugh inside while your significant other looks on heh. | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-20, 10:16 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by namrak
Heh, enjoyable thread. Thanks for the original post ruscorp. Its the kind of thing you send off to your male friends to openly snigger at, but laugh inside while your significant other looks on heh.
Thanks, it was an office joke. | |
| enforcer 2002-11-20, 10:19 am |
| better than an orafice joke | |
| CoffeeFreak 2002-11-20, 10:35 am |
| great post... | |
| gr33nd4yg1rl 2002-11-20, 11:11 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by enforcer
better than an orafice joke
LOLOL! | |
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| quote:
Originally posted by jonhiker
I thought they were funny, i'm sending the list to my ex....
Hey, I like it too and sent it to my husband in the other room. I can't wait to see what he says I am. hehe | |
| nobby67 2002-11-24, 3:11 pm |
| think my Mrs must be all of above
bang smack wollop pow punch ouch that hurt!!!!
ducked one oh heck smack .
now shes walked off and I suppose I will have to lick my wounds and now put up with sighlent treatment. | |
| chodan 2002-11-24, 6:08 pm |
| How bout a RIP wife??
Very Chatty and not used much anymore | |
| xairoise 2002-11-24, 7:36 pm |
| so funny! wonder when they'll be classifying men as hardware....and as buggy softwares.... | |
| drdirt 2002-11-25, 12:19 am |
| love these deep thinking threads! sure beats reading man pages...
my wife (xairoise, asawa ko) was a little like linux.
hard learning to understand, then really flippin consistent.
always booted, but you better shutdown right or you'll hear about it next boot.
now that i think about it, it was really hard to find things for her - but when i found the right thing, it never cost much. | |
| xairoise 2002-11-25, 12:49 am |
| ... anyway, most of the guys I've met so far are like the software I use right now. softimage xsi 2.03. It's a 3d animation software that sounds very promising at first. Then when the going gets tough, and when you need to heavy stuff like animation and rendering; it suddenly quits on you. And you have to reboot again... and again... Until you get the vibes of the software.
akala ko noon lalaki lang ang kailangan mong lambingin at pakisamahan. softwares din pala. hahahaah. good day to you man.
(drdirt dude, san ka galing taga manila ka ba?) | |
| enforcer 2002-11-25, 4:58 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by nobby67
think my Mrs must be all of above
bang smack wollop pow punch ouch that hurt!!!!
ducked one oh heck smack .
now shes walked off and I suppose I will have to lick my wounds and now put up with sighlent treatment.
get a girlfriend, then she can lick the wounds | |
| thecomeons 2002-11-25, 6:50 am |
| or a jack russell. | |
| enforcer 2002-11-25, 6:58 am |
| quote:
Originally posted by thecomeons
or a jack russell.
why would you want a wicket keeper to lick your wounds for? | |
| ruscorp 2002-11-25, 10:35 am |
| For a good time call enforcer. |
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